Tuesday, 2 October 2012

One Night Stands of Immortality

Guys I apologize! I'm going into my busy season at work and waking up early and going to bed late so I wasn't able to write! Anyway here it is!

This blog isn't for men looking to add a few more notches to his belt. That's not what this is about. It's about spending a Night or a few hours with a person and not only immortalizing yourself but also not being a complete dick about the hook up.

Do you know who I am? I'll give you a hint. Think of your top 3 sexual experiences. You see those girls in your mind? The way they're forever immortalized for whatever reason you deemed fit? Maybe they had on the sexiest lingerie you ever saw. Maybe it was because you experienced something with that woman that you've never been able to replicate. Or maybe she just sucks your cock better, dirtier and sluttier than anyone you've ever been with. Whatever the reason, they have found a way to immortalize themselves sexually in your spank bank  ( For those of you that are not sure what that is, it's the part of your memory you keep all you favorite sexual references for "spanking the monkey" a.k.a. masturbating. a "bank" for "spanking" hence the spank bank ;) ) . That's who I am. I'm the woman that will figure out your sexual needs in minutes, adjust and tailor my techniques so that when that night is over we may never see each other again but I have secured myself a spot as some of the best sex you ever had in your life. I don't mess around. I am self competitive.  When I'm done with you, I want you to be exhausted, satiated and in some kind of euphoric state.I've said it before, here at BFWhisperer headquarters, I aim to please and I am damn good at it... the problem is men don't.

Guys just because it's a one night nsa (no strings attached)  doesn't mean you shouldn't bring your A game to the table. I hear this from to many women and I've experienced it first hand. It's a Wham Bam and not even a Thank you Ma'am. You guys seem to confuse emotion and connection with maturity. We are grown ass mature adults! Why can't you have a good, passionate night of sex and go your separate ways in the morning?? When you guys have the woman just take care of you and hardly do anything for her that doesn't make it emotionless sex. That just makes you a selfish asshole. Plain and simple. So you guys are saying.. "But if there's any passion, connection or emotion involved the woman's gonna want more from me. She'll get 'clingy'." Not true. If you explain to a woman right off the bat that that's what you're looking for AND confirm she's looking for the same thing, not a fwb, not a companion or a boyfriend... your chances of a getting involved with a clingy woman are slim to none. Most of you just get to excited at the prospect of sticking your dick into a willing woman that you don't bother to really get those facts straight ;) and there in lies part of the problem.

I have the perfect story for this:

There are times when I'm just looking to get laid. I'm not interested in relationships etc at these times primarily because I'm going into my busy season at work and I don't have time. Anyway every now and then I'll post on Craigslist and see what comes of it. Most of the replies are ridiculous but after sifting through I might meet one or 2 guys. I met this guy, let's call him Gary, and he was cute! 10 years younger than I was at the time but I was just looking to get laid so what did I care?? lol. Gary was 24, in fantastic shape, pleasant to talk, easy going and chill. We get to the sex part and he asks me if I have any condoms. Ummm guys? WTF do I have a cock somewhere that I missed?? Please supply your own condoms. Women should not have to keep a supply of condoms in their homes for you! Do you have a set of birth control pills, female condoms or any female contraceptives in your home?? Exactly! You don't, so take care of your body and I'll take care of mine ;-) .. As it so happened I did but I  let him know right away that that was a first and last time that was going to happen. So we're having sex... It's ok... nothing special but he's a kid so I try not to expect to much. I rock his world and he has a fantastic orgasm. He rolls over and is huffing and puffing to catch his breath and I'm waiting for him to catch his breath. Usually after the fact the guy will start taking care of me and my orgasm. Except of course, he didn't.When he looks like he's not getting ready to move into action I prop myself up on one hand and just stare at him until he says something. He says something along the lines of " Usually I'm really good at giving orgasm but I'm so tired right now. It's been a long day and I think your I'm allergic to your cat." Whaaaaat??! Is this A hole kidding me? So he's allergic to my cat when it's time for me to get mine but when he was fucking me and getting his orgasm he was fine????? I just smiled and said I understood. Politely gave him his clothes to get dressed and showed him out. I'm not stupid guys. I am not yelling at a strange man in my apartment. It's just me and him and I'm not looking to get shot, stabbed or killed over an orgasm lol. The next day he messaged me to tell me what a great time he had with me. I told him, well at least one of  us had a good time! He said, "You didn't enjoy it?" What's to enjoy?? I didn't my orgasm! I told him as much and he asked if we could do it again and he promised he would give  me a great orgasm. Ummm ya, because I have Stupid written on my forehead lol. I told him, Fool me once shame on you, fool me twice shame on me... there will be no shame on my part thanks. I took a pass. Erase, delete. Good bye.

This is a classic one night stand. Most guys get in, fuck you and get out. You ruin it for everyone! lol... How? Enough experiences like this and you guys make women like me want to take a pass on the sex because it's just not worth it. What's in it for me? I can't even get an orgasm out of it! Boo! God! If the sex was good I'd be banging guys whenever I felt the urge to get laid! Now I can't be bothered because the idea of bucking up with another one of these kinda guys is just so unappealing I'd rather take care of it myself! On the plus side I always I ensure I have an orgasm and I never have to look sexy for myself lol!

What is it about pleasing a woman that you guys just don't get it? How about this.. Let's say you and I are having sex. Everything is getting hot and heavy, you're all turned on, rock hard cock, and I have an orgasm.  Then I roll over and relax but you still have a rock hard cock. I get up put my clothes on and leave. WTF... What a bitch right??! Ya, that's how we feel every time you guys don't give us an orgasm! Just because you can't see our cocks doesn't mean we don't need to get off too. Even if it's just one night, why not be immortalized as the best or one of the best one night stands she ever had??

Best one night stand I ever had? Eeeeasy...

I met someone at a bar. There was a definite physical connection right away. I was also quite drunk lol. At the time I was much younger and still learning to handle my liquor. When I got to their place we talked for a bit but I started to feel sick. So sick in fact that I ran to the bathroom and threw up everything! I was so embarassed and mortified! I mean who would want to have sex with a woman after that? Ewww lol. When I finally opened the bathroom door.. there was advil, tea, crackers and a spare toothbrush waiting for me :-o! And not a hint of judgement on their face. Talk about prepared. I was nursed right back to sobriety, brushed my teeth and we had some crazy great sex. We fell asleep and when I woke up there were eggs, bacon, toast, coffee and a plate waiting for me :-o ! We did the breakfast thing, talked like mature adults then I got dressed  and as I was getting ready to leave they called me a cab and paid for the cab ride home. Unbelievable. To this day no other one night stand has ever surpassed this.

Why was that experience forever immortalized by me? Well, it was the fact that I was treated like a human being and not a used and discarded tissue paper. We were mature adults that had a one night stand but we treated each other in a friendly manner. Just because you have a one nighter with someone doesn't mean you should be devoid of treating them like a person. We didn't exchange numbers, we saw each other at the same bar once or twice and we were always polite with each other saying hi, having a drink then going our separate ways. No one got clingy. No one got stalked, stabbed or stupid lol.Why is that so hard for you guys to do?? Lol .. C'mon guys! We'd all be getting laid more often if we treated each other like that while having one night stands.  There's nothing wrong with having a one night stand.. we all have our reasons. Heart break, work, nympho's lol... whatever your reason it's no reason not to treat the woman with a little respect, maturity and humanity.

I hope I've shed a little light, opened a few eyes and given you perspective... If not I'm always open to questions, comments and feedback :)

I think my next post will be for the married men/ boyfriends.. Why are you guys not getting laid as much as you used to? Simple answer. Because you're lacking in the romance department and wives/gf's  think you think they're not worth it anymore.... I'll explain more in the article :)

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