In order to understand this blog please read the following previous blogs:
Being a Gentleman a.k.a. The Mysterious Oompa Loompa
BFW Personal Mini Blog Trilogy: Possible Oompa Loompa Sighting Part 1
BFW Personal Mini Blog Trilogy: Here Comes The Crazy Train Part 2
First of all, I'd like to thank everyone that's taken the time to read my blog :) .. even more so, I'd like to thank those of you that know me and were concerned enough to check up on me! Big Hugs! That was the Barney portion of the blog... Is Barney still around btw?? lol.
Aaand she's back! The crazy train has left the building and I'm back! Woohoo! So over this last week I had some new developments.Firstly, I've asked some guys for feedback in terms of what they thought about the blog. All of them were on the same page in terms of liking the blog and what I had to say. Although they all couldn't believe I got fooled, they were all in full agreement that I needed to get laid lol.. Surprise surprise. Because that's a man's prescription for everything lol.. Lost a foot? You need to get laid! Stomach hurting you? You need to get laid! Got something in your eye? You need to get laid! Tired of being pregnant? You need to get laid! ( Actually that one is true! ) Lol.. If only the worlds problems could be solved with sex lol.
One guys comments triggered some self reflection though. I asked four different guys from four different walks of life for their opinion. The only thing they have in common is that they are male. With the guy we're talking about let's call him Greg. I met Greg through Craigslist once upon a time ago when I posted an ad looking for a fwb. We've never actually met but we've messaged here and there over months. At first he said he liked it. I had warned him that it was an angry blog and after reading it he agreed. He said he liked it but it was just one woman's opinion. The second part of that statement triggered some yellow flags. For me this was a passive aggressive signal so I wanted to hear what was the truth because that's what I'm after. If I ask for someone's opinion, give it to me. The good with the bad. Don't tell me what you THINK I want to hear. The other guys on the panel know this and I've told this guy more than once but he was still with the passive aggressiveness... until I pushed him. I said I was going to stop asking for his opinion because he didn't really get me. Oh boy! That pushed him right over the edge. He said I needed to stop analyzing everything! Lol... ummm this is the point of asking for feedback! So that you can analyze it and make it better! I'm not asking for a pat on the back! I want to know if I'm heading in the right direction with this blog. After that I got a slew of messages saying I'm self-righteous, entitled, insecure, I over think a lot, my recent experiences have left me doubting myself.. it's very palpable, my thinking came from the 50's, I live in a land of make believe, I don't read, I don't listen, I'm annoying, not to smart ( his exact words were " I can't believe you didn't know you were getting played!") and that he "doesn't like girls that think they should be put on a pedestal cause they have a vagina.". Apparently he thinks that I think I deserve to be treated like a princess.. talk about not reading! Guys, I said that was what made those three weeks great! He made me FEEL special. and that he treated me like a princess not that I deserved to be treated like one. I deserve respect. And anything I expect I give in return. Well at least I finally got some honesty out of him! lmao.. After a while I say I'm going to stop now because you're pissed and this conversation isn't getting better. You seem to think I'm a terrible person and I can't change that." He said " I don't think you're terrible at all. I think you can get really annoying because you don't listen or read. You just want to get your point across." Ummm... Does anyone else see how this statement is contradictory? I'm not a terrible person in his eyes but I'm entitled, self-righteous... etc? Lol God help me, if that's not a terrible person what is in this guys book?? I did ask and he failed to comment. The devil must look like an angel in his books too! Lol.
Shortly thereafter, I asked the other guys to read the article and give me their honest feedback. Now these guys know me much better. They get my vision for this blog so they don't mind the questions and they give me hardcore truth and reality.. politely and maturely... Because we're adults. Mature adults. I quickly came to realize that this guy and his opinions were all on his own. The other guys didn't make the same comments. The only thing they said they weren't wild about was seeing me exact any kind of revenge on the other guy, Paul. They all thought I should let it go. As for Greg, they along with myself, think my articles may have hit a sensitive nerve so the guy lashed out at me. Meh. If the other guys were on board with his thinking this would cause me to sit back and reflect because that is not the person I am and that is not who I would like to be perceived as so what I had to figure out was if his assessment of me was accurate or not. Having talked to the other guys I believe that his assessment was inaccurate. I hit a nerve with Greg which is unfortunate because he's actually quite intelligent but obviously not a big fan of mine lol. Ah well, what can you do? Like I said I'm not made for everybody. I'm a tough cookie. I'm hard to handle and I know it. The good part is as hard as I might be to handle I'll always have a friend's back. I'm trustworthy, I'm honest, I'm loyal, I have a good heart and I'm one of few hard ass women that's willing to give you guys a bird's eye view into a woman's mind. Tough as shit as we are, we still have a soft spot in some places here and there. Even a strong woman is not perfect or invincible. I let you guys see my vulnerability because I want you to understand that as much as I am a strong woman, even when I get knocked down, I have to get back up. Sometimes it takes a little longer but I will get back up and continue on my little journey. But don't mistake my vulnerability for weakness or insecurity. Because this is the side you don't see. You don't get to see our hurt, our pain, our anger because we are resilient and we wear fabulous designer masks! Lol
So what happened with Paul? A month has passed since that last conversation where he asked me to be his girlfriend then disappeared. It took me 3 weeks before I could write that last article because I was SO pissed off. Most people think it's because I really liked the guy. More than I should have. But that wasn't it. If you guys really read the article it was because of the utter lack of respect. The common denominator in all my articles. If he had just said something I would've been fine. Maybe a little disappointed but definitely not anywhere near Crazy Mode.
I'm talking to my Ex/Friend ( yes, a man and woman that were involved but are now friends! Shocking right??! lol). We've been Ex's for over 10 yrs, let's call him Xavier lol. We're talking about this last post and I am just venting! I'm mad at men, I'm mad at the world ARRRRGGHH! Lol Poor guy but he's a good guy for listening to me :) . Anyway right in the middle of us talking my other line beeps! I'm thinking WTF? It's 1am.. who's calling me now? I look at the phone and isn't it... Paul??! W. T. F. That was a shocker! I tell Xavier who it is and he gets all excited! He wants me to answer it. As much as I want to, I refuse. Xavier says "See how you women say you're not into games but you're playing games now." I explained myself. Guys, at 1 am you have no business calling me. If you want to speak to me you can call me at a respectable time especially when you know you're in the wrong. Secondly, I was in a pissed off state so how do you guys think that conversation would go down?? Not very well right? Xavier understood where I was coming from right then and there.Talking to a woman while she's at the height of being pissed is dangerous to your health lol. If he was serious he could call me tomorrow.
The message light started flashing. Xavier got excited again he wanted me to check it and call him right back.. you guys love drama more than women sometimes lmao ;) . While trying to retrieve the message Paul calls back so I can't answer the message! Sally ( that's my phone's name) starts asking me "Are you still there??" And I'm like "Hell ya i'm still here!" lol I have to wait until it stops ringing. When I pick up the message it's club noise. Just the one message though even though he called twice...
I eventually can't contain myself anymore and send the following message later on. " Are you serious? You're pocket dialing me from a club? At least your phone has the balls to attempt to say something... Twice." Almost immediately I get the following text messages " I'm sorry" "I'm with Shane West from Nikita and Jackie from Bold and the Beautiful." Lol Like I give a fuck??! " How are you?" "I'm at cinema" .. Are you guys ready? Here comes my favorite part... "I was in Greece for a month and forgot my phone here." "You don't want to talk to me anymore?" OMG. Can I tell you when I read these messages most of my anger dissolved because I realized two things. 1. He really was just an asshole in sheep's clothing and 2. He realized that whatever girl he was currently dating he wasn't to wild about so he's trying to hop back onto my train. If he was happy with the other girl I would've never heard from him again... so now he's starting to doubt his choice! How so? Because he took the time to think up a lie and lying requires much more energy than the truth and you'd only do it if you were trying to get back what you lost because you believe or are worried they won't accept the truth.I swear I just gave birth to a child because I feel 10 pounds lighter! Who needs Jenny Craig??! Faaaabu!
Now guys, I have already said, I'm a fair woman because I am. My reply was " If you're really sorry call me one of these days and we'll meet up somewhere to talk. I'm not making any promises but I can at least say I'll hear you out." I believe in trying to give some people the benefit of the doubt... not to mention at this point I want to hear if the lying will continue or will he grow a pair of balls.. like his iPhone did ;) lol .. Btw, in hindsight, I believe he called and not his pocket. Why? He was to quick to reply after my first message. When you pocket dial from a club most times it's hours later plus a hangover when you realize people are messaging you that you pocket dialed them at whatever time in the morning lol.
The next morning I message him to say " So were those real or drunk texts last night?" He says " Let me call you when I get over this crazy hang over. Shane West is a crazy mother fucker!!!" I tell him I'll be available after 10 pm. Listen guys at that point I had work then plans afterward. I'm not stopping or interrupting my plans for this guy so if he's serious he can call me after 10pm. 10 pm came and went no call. I called and left the following message. " With a last name like yours, one that signifies courage and bravery it's unfortunate that you don't have any. You have the last name but you don't embody it and that's unfortunate and shameful. That your iPhone has more balls than you do is quite telling. I'm disappointed not only in you but in myself for believing in you. Our last date (mystery dinner theatre) when I was the only one at the whole table to figure out who the murderer was, should have been an indication that I have a few more brain cells than the average woman you're used to dating. And then you come with an excuse like, I was in Greece and forgot my phone here?? In the age of communication you couldn't find a WiFi, a laptop, an email address or at the very least email through the dating site we met on? Come on, it's been over a month, even you can't be that dense. It's sad and pathetic and I don't need it or you. Have a nice life and don't call me again." When he pocket dialed me again conveniently at 1am again ( his phone has an interesting habit of ignoring me for a whole month and then all of a sudden I get pocket dialed only at 1 am! Go figure! :-s lol) I sent a message the next day saying " Hi Paul... please delete my number. The pocket dialing is unnecessary. Thanks." That's the end of that.
To finish off this Tale of Wonder and Horror lol, I want to share a quote with you and summarize. " If you can recognize illusion as illusion, it dissolves. The recognition of illusion is also it's ending. It's survival depends on your mistaking it for reality. In the seeing of who you are not, the reality of who you are emerges by itself." Eckhart Tolle, A New Earth. I promised one of the guys I'd read it.. still reading lol. This is a very powerful quote because it was so true. Let's face it, I got duped. Probably because I wanted to believe. I want to believe in you guys. I've always supported and defended men. Here I am still trying to offer help, advice, insight.. a laugh lol.. whatever it is that you get from this blog. In my line of work I see the men I describe and they're married but because of them, I know these types of men exist, they're just rare. I see the joy that these women have because of the man in their lives. The point is I saw an illusion for 3 weeks. Later I recognized the illusion. And when I did, it ended and his real self emerged. I saw what he was and I refused to be fooled any longer. I took control of the situation and let him know he lost. Does he give a crap? I don't care. I am absolved. This was about him being an ass and not me being unworthy. I care that I saved myself and I know what I am. I am a kick ass woman.
As usual, I appreciate any feedback, opinions, thoughts... as long as they're expressed maturely :-) Have a Happy Halloween! And once again, Allo and Guten Tag to my German friends, Zdravstvuj to my
Russian friends, Hallo to my friends in the Netherlands and Hello to my UK friends!! :D Add me on Facebook at Bf Whisperer.. :)
Back to my usual blogging...
Monday 29 October 2012
Wednesday 24 October 2012
BFW Personal Mini Blog Trilogy: Here Comes The Crazy Train Part 2
In order to understand this post please read:
Being a Gentleman a.k.a. The Mysterious Oompa Loompa
BFW Personal Mini Blog Trilogy: Possible Oompa Loompa Part 1.
I've had a few people inquiring about my possible Oompa Loompa sighting. They want to know what happened. In order to explain what happened I need to start with what I call The Women's 5 Shades of Crazy. Basically, as a woman, speaking honestly.. I believe every woman is at least one shade of crazy lol. Here's the Craz-o-meter:
Shade1. To Cute Crazy : This is the woman that rarely gets angry but when she does you can't help but laugh or think "Awww she's sooo cute!" and the more you laugh the angrier she gets and either looks or sounds more and more like a cartoon character lol. This shade is harmless unless provoked to Shade 2 or higher.
Shade 2. Provoked Crazy: This woman is usually fairly normal, sane, rational until... you do something to provoke her crazy side. Usually, it entails lying, cheating, stealing, betrayal etc. When you've committed one or more of these acts you send her into a rage. A rage where she goes from normal to Tasmanian Devil the minute she finds out about whatever crime you committed against her lol. God help you...
Shade 3. 50/50 Crazy: This chic is like a walking oxymoron! One minute she says she wants you to call her next thing she's telling you " You're always calling me!" Or that she's independent, she can pay her own way but can you pay half her rent? :-s Or that she likes when you're affectionate but says " You're smothering me!" Lol this woman can't make up her mind! 50% of the time she wants something and then the other 50% she spends accusing you of over compensating. You constantly feel pulled in different directions and you're never sure what she wants! It's maddening! lol.
Shade 4. Sneek-Up-On-You Crazy: Most of you have had at least ONE girlfriend like this. For months this woman was perfect! You have nothing to complain about. Everyone compliments you and tells you how lucky you are to have her. Then one day, she snaps and it's like you're talking to a whole other person! Maybe you said you didn't want to meet her parents, maybe the buddy she hates crashed on your couch and wiped his dirty mouth in her guest towels or maybe you chose the superbowl over listening to her day or possibly you didn't appreciate something she went out of her way to do for you... whatever you did she broke and became Psycho Reborn! You no longer recognize her and you want your perfect girlfriend back because this one's scary! The crazy just snuck up on you and hit you in the face like a bitch slap! POW!
Shade 5. Psycho:This chic is full on mental. After the first couple of dates she's got you looking at rings and talking about baby names! She's the one that automatically assumes you're cheating on her because you didn't answer your phone.. while you were at work.. in a meeting.. with co-workers.. and leaves 20 crazy messages about how she's gonna mail you your balls. Crazy. Full fledged. 100%. These girls need a skull and crossed bones tattooed across their foreheads :DANGER! Hazardous to your health!
That brings us back to me. Why did we need to go through the 5 Shades of crazy? Because I'm a number 2 on the scale... which means I have to be provoked into my crazy. So you ask " BFW, What pray tell would provoke you into craziness? You're such a sweet and innocent woman??!" I know right??! ;-) lol Well here's what happened...
In my previous article about him we called Paul. Paul and I dated for 3 weeks and gentlemen I honestly can't complain about those 3 weeks. He did everything I outlined in my Dating Do's . He opened doors, arrived on time, listened to me, chose great restaurants, paid the bill, walked me to my door etc.. I mean he really treated me like a princess! If he said he'd call or text, without fail, he did it! It gave me a sense of calm and security, it made me feel special because I appreciate all the little things like that. I don't need expensive jewelry or designer bags. I am a woman though so if you give them to me I won't say No lol .. but that's not what I'm there for. I'm there for the connection the companionship, the fun, the laughter, the romance and let's face it, some good fucking sex! So "What went wrong, you ask?" You guys tell me because I'd love to hear your opinion and thoughts on this.
For 3 weeks, as I said, everything was good. In our last conversation he called me on his way home from work and he told me about a great guy and his wife that he met on site. He said that they had invited him and his girlfriend to come over for dinner. We were talking like usual... the kind you do after work to catch up on each others day so it was a nice light vibe. I jokingly said to him " Don't forget to tell your girlfriend she got invited to dinner! lol" He laughed and said "I am telling her!" I said " Is that really how you think of me?" And he said " Yea but I didn't want to offend you." I said " why would that be offensive? That's more of a compliment!" After that we continued talking like normal until he had gotten home and was heading to bed.That was the last I heard of him. I sent a couple messages the next day, no reply. I called, no answer. I left a couple of voice mails, nothing... here comes the crazy. I'm gonna break this down for you guys so you really understand what we go through.
Step 1. Panic and worry. We start to wonder if you're ok. Did you have a family emergency? Did you get into an accident? Are you passed out in a hospital somewhere??? Worry and Panic start to set in. It's unfathomable to us that you would just drop off the face of the earth and stop talking to us for no reason. We're mature adults so at the very least the guy will say something if he's ditching you right?WRONG.
Step 2. Blame. Again we don't always stop and think first " Maybe this guy's an asshole".. Instead we think " Was it something I said? Did I do something wrong??" We internalize and inflict doubt on ourselves thinking and rethinking about every little thing that happened the last time we spoke or saw each other as well as over the time span we were dating trying to figure out what in God's name is wrong with us! Because of course it has to be us and not him right??!
Step 3. Reality. Things start clicking and falling into place sometimes crashing. You start remembering little things that set off yellow flags but not so alarming as to set off the red flags in our minds.
Step 4. Realization and Coming to terms. At this point you start realizing he's not sick, hurt or dead. He's an ass that has ditched you and that leads you to....
Step 5. Rage. You're ready to tear this guy's life apart! Whatever he loves you want to rip it from him, destroy it and leave him holding the pieces...You want to inflict on him the hurt he inflicted on you.. And enjoy every second of it which leads you to..
Step 6. Crazy Mode. The wheels start turning and she starts devising plans, strategies or just a basic list of anything she can think of to cause you utter humiliation/embarrassment/ pain/loss ... anything that will rip that smug little smile off the face you want to beat the crap out of lol... are you starting to hear the crazy talking?? lol
I worried about the guy! At first I thought "What if he's sick, comatose or dead?!" but then I realized his phone is still getting charged each day. I wonder, what if it was because of me?? Was it something I said or did? Automatically I start blaming myself. Why else would a guy just leave me like that unless something was wrong with me? After a while I start thinking back to the little things. His online profile had private images instead of readily available images. We always went out in my area, although in all fairness when I asked about this he said it was closer to go somewhere around my area than his since he would pick me up from my place. Fair enough since he lived about a half hour drive from my place but it did raise a yellow flag. Also there were a couple times he said he was talking to me from home but was he? How do I know? They were very brief conversations as it was usually before bed time. He called often from work but that I can tell was true based on his career choice. Reality sets in.The guy that gave me everything I wanted in a man, dumped me. Without a word. Without a call. Like I was nothing but trash. That hurt and I realize what an asshole this guy is! I was worried about him! I had started to blame myself for a man that was a coward! He didn't even have the decency to say he didn't want to see me anymore! Pathetic fucking piece of shit jerk. I. Am. Pissed! I am going to make this guys life, a hell hole.
Using methods I chose not to disclose ( C'mon, I can't give away all our secrets ;-) lol) I found out where he lives and when I'm not as insanely busy with work, I'm going to have a little stake out and see what's happening. I am a very patient woman. I will leave this guy alone for months feeling like he got off Scott free! Easy peasy! He tricked another bitch and he's laughing his ass off thinking he's the shit... until I bring his world crashing down. I will Fuck. Up. His.Shit. Believe me when I say that will be part 3 of this story. Muwhahahahahaha! LOL! All Abroad! Here comes the crazy train!! lol
The ironic thing is... all he had to say was " I'm sorry I just don't think we're on the same page" or " I'm sorry, I have a wife and a kid and I didn't expect to connect to anyone." or SOMETHING!! For cripes sake guys! I just went out on date with a guy last Saturday and had to tell him " I think you're a nice guy, I enjoyed meeting you but I don't find you sexually attractive." He was fat.. It's just not my thing. If it works for you, rock it! I'm a firm believer but it didn't work for me. Just like my slimness or petite size doesn't work for others! It is what it is... the truth. And that's ok. It's better than pulling a disappearing act on the person. If he had said something I would've just walked away. Like I've said before, I don't chase men that don't want me. Simple as that. I do fuck up men that don't respect me though.
Here's how this feels: Think of something you dream of.. Let's say a Lamborghini or a Porche or something. One day someone walks up to you and gives you the keys to a brand spanking new car and tells you it's yours! Holy shit you've hit the jackpot! At first you don't dare to believe it's yours. The guys coming back for it any minute but you'll enjoy the ride while you can! Then those couple of days turn into a week and you're thinking "Is this really mine? Nahhh no way!" Another week goes by and now you're kinda getting used to the feeling of the car.. every time you walk out the front door and see it, it puts a smile on your face! Another week passes and now you're entirely enjoying the car. The guy that gave you the keys is totally gone from your mind! This baby is yours!! Then one day you get up, leave the house but the driveway is empty! WTF??! The car is gone. Not a scrap left to even say it was there! Was it real? You know you left it riiiight there ... How do you feel right now? Fuckin shitty right? Ya. That's what it feels like. Like you lost something great. Until you realize the guy was a fucking asshole for telling you it was yours then taking it back without even saying a word to you! Don't you just want to beat the crap out of this guy?? That feeling right there is what drives women into crazy mode... pun intended lol.
Now, I know what you're thinking. You're thinking I left out the part where he fucked me and took off right? Nope. We never had sex. We fooled around a bit within the 3 weeks but still spoke after that but no sex at all... So now what do you guys have to say?? Talk to me! I want to hear some thoughts, opinions, be honest but mature about what you have to say. I can take honesty but I can't stand disrespect... and for those of you that say " Ok BFW but is it really worth it to mess with the guy like that? Why not just leave it alone and move on? Will it really make you feel better?" Fair questions and to that I say YES!!! It will make me feel better.. It IS worth it. I won't leave it alone because I'm so sick and tired of men always doing this women. I'm tired of their cowardly ways. I'm tired of them bragging to the boys about how they just dropped a girl and they're moving on to the next one to do the same thing. I'm so tired of the lack of respect men in general have for women. It's frustrating and angering and I want to teach this bastard a lesson... Men rape, beat, kill, stab, abuse, abort women, wives, mothers, sisters, girlfriends, babies... What have we ever done to you guys to be treated so poorly? How often do women rape, beat, kill, stab, abuse or abort men? Think about it. I'm just tired of it plain and simple. This asshole is about to lose his shit.
Stay tuned for Part 3... I promise the crazy wears off after a while lol. Like a perfume ;-)
Thanks for continuing to come back and make my blog more popular! Please feel free to post to pass my link on to friends or post on Facebook! :) I appreciate your continued interest and as always I'm open to thoughts, comments and suggestions :-) Until my next blog... Have a good one! :-)
Being a Gentleman a.k.a. The Mysterious Oompa Loompa
BFW Personal Mini Blog Trilogy: Possible Oompa Loompa Part 1.
I've had a few people inquiring about my possible Oompa Loompa sighting. They want to know what happened. In order to explain what happened I need to start with what I call The Women's 5 Shades of Crazy. Basically, as a woman, speaking honestly.. I believe every woman is at least one shade of crazy lol. Here's the Craz-o-meter:
Shade1. To Cute Crazy : This is the woman that rarely gets angry but when she does you can't help but laugh or think "Awww she's sooo cute!" and the more you laugh the angrier she gets and either looks or sounds more and more like a cartoon character lol. This shade is harmless unless provoked to Shade 2 or higher.
Shade 2. Provoked Crazy: This woman is usually fairly normal, sane, rational until... you do something to provoke her crazy side. Usually, it entails lying, cheating, stealing, betrayal etc. When you've committed one or more of these acts you send her into a rage. A rage where she goes from normal to Tasmanian Devil the minute she finds out about whatever crime you committed against her lol. God help you...
Shade 3. 50/50 Crazy: This chic is like a walking oxymoron! One minute she says she wants you to call her next thing she's telling you " You're always calling me!" Or that she's independent, she can pay her own way but can you pay half her rent? :-s Or that she likes when you're affectionate but says " You're smothering me!" Lol this woman can't make up her mind! 50% of the time she wants something and then the other 50% she spends accusing you of over compensating. You constantly feel pulled in different directions and you're never sure what she wants! It's maddening! lol.
Shade 4. Sneek-Up-On-You Crazy: Most of you have had at least ONE girlfriend like this. For months this woman was perfect! You have nothing to complain about. Everyone compliments you and tells you how lucky you are to have her. Then one day, she snaps and it's like you're talking to a whole other person! Maybe you said you didn't want to meet her parents, maybe the buddy she hates crashed on your couch and wiped his dirty mouth in her guest towels or maybe you chose the superbowl over listening to her day or possibly you didn't appreciate something she went out of her way to do for you... whatever you did she broke and became Psycho Reborn! You no longer recognize her and you want your perfect girlfriend back because this one's scary! The crazy just snuck up on you and hit you in the face like a bitch slap! POW!
Shade 5. Psycho:This chic is full on mental. After the first couple of dates she's got you looking at rings and talking about baby names! She's the one that automatically assumes you're cheating on her because you didn't answer your phone.. while you were at work.. in a meeting.. with co-workers.. and leaves 20 crazy messages about how she's gonna mail you your balls. Crazy. Full fledged. 100%. These girls need a skull and crossed bones tattooed across their foreheads :DANGER! Hazardous to your health!
That brings us back to me. Why did we need to go through the 5 Shades of crazy? Because I'm a number 2 on the scale... which means I have to be provoked into my crazy. So you ask " BFW, What pray tell would provoke you into craziness? You're such a sweet and innocent woman??!" I know right??! ;-) lol Well here's what happened...
In my previous article about him we called Paul. Paul and I dated for 3 weeks and gentlemen I honestly can't complain about those 3 weeks. He did everything I outlined in my Dating Do's . He opened doors, arrived on time, listened to me, chose great restaurants, paid the bill, walked me to my door etc.. I mean he really treated me like a princess! If he said he'd call or text, without fail, he did it! It gave me a sense of calm and security, it made me feel special because I appreciate all the little things like that. I don't need expensive jewelry or designer bags. I am a woman though so if you give them to me I won't say No lol .. but that's not what I'm there for. I'm there for the connection the companionship, the fun, the laughter, the romance and let's face it, some good fucking sex! So "What went wrong, you ask?" You guys tell me because I'd love to hear your opinion and thoughts on this.
For 3 weeks, as I said, everything was good. In our last conversation he called me on his way home from work and he told me about a great guy and his wife that he met on site. He said that they had invited him and his girlfriend to come over for dinner. We were talking like usual... the kind you do after work to catch up on each others day so it was a nice light vibe. I jokingly said to him " Don't forget to tell your girlfriend she got invited to dinner! lol" He laughed and said "I am telling her!" I said " Is that really how you think of me?" And he said " Yea but I didn't want to offend you." I said " why would that be offensive? That's more of a compliment!" After that we continued talking like normal until he had gotten home and was heading to bed.That was the last I heard of him. I sent a couple messages the next day, no reply. I called, no answer. I left a couple of voice mails, nothing... here comes the crazy. I'm gonna break this down for you guys so you really understand what we go through.
Step 1. Panic and worry. We start to wonder if you're ok. Did you have a family emergency? Did you get into an accident? Are you passed out in a hospital somewhere??? Worry and Panic start to set in. It's unfathomable to us that you would just drop off the face of the earth and stop talking to us for no reason. We're mature adults so at the very least the guy will say something if he's ditching you right?WRONG.
Step 2. Blame. Again we don't always stop and think first " Maybe this guy's an asshole".. Instead we think " Was it something I said? Did I do something wrong??" We internalize and inflict doubt on ourselves thinking and rethinking about every little thing that happened the last time we spoke or saw each other as well as over the time span we were dating trying to figure out what in God's name is wrong with us! Because of course it has to be us and not him right??!
Step 3. Reality. Things start clicking and falling into place sometimes crashing. You start remembering little things that set off yellow flags but not so alarming as to set off the red flags in our minds.
Step 4. Realization and Coming to terms. At this point you start realizing he's not sick, hurt or dead. He's an ass that has ditched you and that leads you to....
Step 5. Rage. You're ready to tear this guy's life apart! Whatever he loves you want to rip it from him, destroy it and leave him holding the pieces...You want to inflict on him the hurt he inflicted on you.. And enjoy every second of it which leads you to..
Step 6. Crazy Mode. The wheels start turning and she starts devising plans, strategies or just a basic list of anything she can think of to cause you utter humiliation/embarrassment/ pain/loss ... anything that will rip that smug little smile off the face you want to beat the crap out of lol... are you starting to hear the crazy talking?? lol
I worried about the guy! At first I thought "What if he's sick, comatose or dead?!" but then I realized his phone is still getting charged each day. I wonder, what if it was because of me?? Was it something I said or did? Automatically I start blaming myself. Why else would a guy just leave me like that unless something was wrong with me? After a while I start thinking back to the little things. His online profile had private images instead of readily available images. We always went out in my area, although in all fairness when I asked about this he said it was closer to go somewhere around my area than his since he would pick me up from my place. Fair enough since he lived about a half hour drive from my place but it did raise a yellow flag. Also there were a couple times he said he was talking to me from home but was he? How do I know? They were very brief conversations as it was usually before bed time. He called often from work but that I can tell was true based on his career choice. Reality sets in.The guy that gave me everything I wanted in a man, dumped me. Without a word. Without a call. Like I was nothing but trash. That hurt and I realize what an asshole this guy is! I was worried about him! I had started to blame myself for a man that was a coward! He didn't even have the decency to say he didn't want to see me anymore! Pathetic fucking piece of shit jerk. I. Am. Pissed! I am going to make this guys life, a hell hole.
Using methods I chose not to disclose ( C'mon, I can't give away all our secrets ;-) lol) I found out where he lives and when I'm not as insanely busy with work, I'm going to have a little stake out and see what's happening. I am a very patient woman. I will leave this guy alone for months feeling like he got off Scott free! Easy peasy! He tricked another bitch and he's laughing his ass off thinking he's the shit... until I bring his world crashing down. I will Fuck. Up. His.Shit. Believe me when I say that will be part 3 of this story. Muwhahahahahaha! LOL! All Abroad! Here comes the crazy train!! lol
The ironic thing is... all he had to say was " I'm sorry I just don't think we're on the same page" or " I'm sorry, I have a wife and a kid and I didn't expect to connect to anyone." or SOMETHING!! For cripes sake guys! I just went out on date with a guy last Saturday and had to tell him " I think you're a nice guy, I enjoyed meeting you but I don't find you sexually attractive." He was fat.. It's just not my thing. If it works for you, rock it! I'm a firm believer but it didn't work for me. Just like my slimness or petite size doesn't work for others! It is what it is... the truth. And that's ok. It's better than pulling a disappearing act on the person. If he had said something I would've just walked away. Like I've said before, I don't chase men that don't want me. Simple as that. I do fuck up men that don't respect me though.
Here's how this feels: Think of something you dream of.. Let's say a Lamborghini or a Porche or something. One day someone walks up to you and gives you the keys to a brand spanking new car and tells you it's yours! Holy shit you've hit the jackpot! At first you don't dare to believe it's yours. The guys coming back for it any minute but you'll enjoy the ride while you can! Then those couple of days turn into a week and you're thinking "Is this really mine? Nahhh no way!" Another week goes by and now you're kinda getting used to the feeling of the car.. every time you walk out the front door and see it, it puts a smile on your face! Another week passes and now you're entirely enjoying the car. The guy that gave you the keys is totally gone from your mind! This baby is yours!! Then one day you get up, leave the house but the driveway is empty! WTF??! The car is gone. Not a scrap left to even say it was there! Was it real? You know you left it riiiight there ... How do you feel right now? Fuckin shitty right? Ya. That's what it feels like. Like you lost something great. Until you realize the guy was a fucking asshole for telling you it was yours then taking it back without even saying a word to you! Don't you just want to beat the crap out of this guy?? That feeling right there is what drives women into crazy mode... pun intended lol.
Now, I know what you're thinking. You're thinking I left out the part where he fucked me and took off right? Nope. We never had sex. We fooled around a bit within the 3 weeks but still spoke after that but no sex at all... So now what do you guys have to say?? Talk to me! I want to hear some thoughts, opinions, be honest but mature about what you have to say. I can take honesty but I can't stand disrespect... and for those of you that say " Ok BFW but is it really worth it to mess with the guy like that? Why not just leave it alone and move on? Will it really make you feel better?" Fair questions and to that I say YES!!! It will make me feel better.. It IS worth it. I won't leave it alone because I'm so sick and tired of men always doing this women. I'm tired of their cowardly ways. I'm tired of them bragging to the boys about how they just dropped a girl and they're moving on to the next one to do the same thing. I'm so tired of the lack of respect men in general have for women. It's frustrating and angering and I want to teach this bastard a lesson... Men rape, beat, kill, stab, abuse, abort women, wives, mothers, sisters, girlfriends, babies... What have we ever done to you guys to be treated so poorly? How often do women rape, beat, kill, stab, abuse or abort men? Think about it. I'm just tired of it plain and simple. This asshole is about to lose his shit.
Stay tuned for Part 3... I promise the crazy wears off after a while lol. Like a perfume ;-)
Thanks for continuing to come back and make my blog more popular! Please feel free to post to pass my link on to friends or post on Facebook! :) I appreciate your continued interest and as always I'm open to thoughts, comments and suggestions :-) Until my next blog... Have a good one! :-)
Tuesday 2 October 2012
One Night Stands of Immortality
Guys I apologize! I'm going into my busy season at work and waking up early and going to bed late so I wasn't able to write! Anyway here it is!
This blog isn't for men looking to add a few more notches to his belt. That's not what this is about. It's about spending a Night or a few hours with a person and not only immortalizing yourself but also not being a complete dick about the hook up.
Do you know who I am? I'll give you a hint. Think of your top 3 sexual experiences. You see those girls in your mind? The way they're forever immortalized for whatever reason you deemed fit? Maybe they had on the sexiest lingerie you ever saw. Maybe it was because you experienced something with that woman that you've never been able to replicate. Or maybe she just sucks your cock better, dirtier and sluttier than anyone you've ever been with. Whatever the reason, they have found a way to immortalize themselves sexually in your spank bank ( For those of you that are not sure what that is, it's the part of your memory you keep all you favorite sexual references for "spanking the monkey" a.k.a. masturbating. a "bank" for "spanking" hence the spank bank ;) ) . That's who I am. I'm the woman that will figure out your sexual needs in minutes, adjust and tailor my techniques so that when that night is over we may never see each other again but I have secured myself a spot as some of the best sex you ever had in your life. I don't mess around. I am self competitive. When I'm done with you, I want you to be exhausted, satiated and in some kind of euphoric state.I've said it before, here at BFWhisperer headquarters, I aim to please and I am damn good at it... the problem is men don't.
Guys just because it's a one night nsa (no strings attached) doesn't mean you shouldn't bring your A game to the table. I hear this from to many women and I've experienced it first hand. It's a Wham Bam and not even a Thank you Ma'am. You guys seem to confuse emotion and connection with maturity. We are grown ass mature adults! Why can't you have a good, passionate night of sex and go your separate ways in the morning?? When you guys have the woman just take care of you and hardly do anything for her that doesn't make it emotionless sex. That just makes you a selfish asshole. Plain and simple. So you guys are saying.. "But if there's any passion, connection or emotion involved the woman's gonna want more from me. She'll get 'clingy'." Not true. If you explain to a woman right off the bat that that's what you're looking for AND confirm she's looking for the same thing, not a fwb, not a companion or a boyfriend... your chances of a getting involved with a clingy woman are slim to none. Most of you just get to excited at the prospect of sticking your dick into a willing woman that you don't bother to really get those facts straight ;) and there in lies part of the problem.
I have the perfect story for this:
There are times when I'm just looking to get laid. I'm not interested in relationships etc at these times primarily because I'm going into my busy season at work and I don't have time. Anyway every now and then I'll post on Craigslist and see what comes of it. Most of the replies are ridiculous but after sifting through I might meet one or 2 guys. I met this guy, let's call him Gary, and he was cute! 10 years younger than I was at the time but I was just looking to get laid so what did I care?? lol. Gary was 24, in fantastic shape, pleasant to talk, easy going and chill. We get to the sex part and he asks me if I have any condoms. Ummm guys? WTF do I have a cock somewhere that I missed?? Please supply your own condoms. Women should not have to keep a supply of condoms in their homes for you! Do you have a set of birth control pills, female condoms or any female contraceptives in your home?? Exactly! You don't, so take care of your body and I'll take care of mine ;-) .. As it so happened I did but I let him know right away that that was a first and last time that was going to happen. So we're having sex... It's ok... nothing special but he's a kid so I try not to expect to much. I rock his world and he has a fantastic orgasm. He rolls over and is huffing and puffing to catch his breath and I'm waiting for him to catch his breath. Usually after the fact the guy will start taking care of me and my orgasm. Except of course, he didn't.When he looks like he's not getting ready to move into action I prop myself up on one hand and just stare at him until he says something. He says something along the lines of " Usually I'm really good at giving orgasm but I'm so tired right now. It's been a long day and I think your I'm allergic to your cat." Whaaaaat??! Is this A hole kidding me? So he's allergic to my cat when it's time for me to get mine but when he was fucking me and getting his orgasm he was fine????? I just smiled and said I understood. Politely gave him his clothes to get dressed and showed him out. I'm not stupid guys. I am not yelling at a strange man in my apartment. It's just me and him and I'm not looking to get shot, stabbed or killed over an orgasm lol. The next day he messaged me to tell me what a great time he had with me. I told him, well at least one of us had a good time! He said, "You didn't enjoy it?" What's to enjoy?? I didn't my orgasm! I told him as much and he asked if we could do it again and he promised he would give me a great orgasm. Ummm ya, because I have Stupid written on my forehead lol. I told him, Fool me once shame on you, fool me twice shame on me... there will be no shame on my part thanks. I took a pass. Erase, delete. Good bye.
This is a classic one night stand. Most guys get in, fuck you and get out. You ruin it for everyone! lol... How? Enough experiences like this and you guys make women like me want to take a pass on the sex because it's just not worth it. What's in it for me? I can't even get an orgasm out of it! Boo! God! If the sex was good I'd be banging guys whenever I felt the urge to get laid! Now I can't be bothered because the idea of bucking up with another one of these kinda guys is just so unappealing I'd rather take care of it myself! On the plus side I always I ensure I have an orgasm and I never have to look sexy for myself lol!
What is it about pleasing a woman that you guys just don't get it? How about this.. Let's say you and I are having sex. Everything is getting hot and heavy, you're all turned on, rock hard cock, and I have an orgasm. Then I roll over and relax but you still have a rock hard cock. I get up put my clothes on and leave. WTF... What a bitch right??! Ya, that's how we feel every time you guys don't give us an orgasm! Just because you can't see our cocks doesn't mean we don't need to get off too. Even if it's just one night, why not be immortalized as the best or one of the best one night stands she ever had??
Best one night stand I ever had? Eeeeasy...
I met someone at a bar. There was a definite physical connection right away. I was also quite drunk lol. At the time I was much younger and still learning to handle my liquor. When I got to their place we talked for a bit but I started to feel sick. So sick in fact that I ran to the bathroom and threw up everything! I was so embarassed and mortified! I mean who would want to have sex with a woman after that? Ewww lol. When I finally opened the bathroom door.. there was advil, tea, crackers and a spare toothbrush waiting for me :-o! And not a hint of judgement on their face. Talk about prepared. I was nursed right back to sobriety, brushed my teeth and we had some crazy great sex. We fell asleep and when I woke up there were eggs, bacon, toast, coffee and a plate waiting for me :-o ! We did the breakfast thing, talked like mature adults then I got dressed and as I was getting ready to leave they called me a cab and paid for the cab ride home. Unbelievable. To this day no other one night stand has ever surpassed this.
Why was that experience forever immortalized by me? Well, it was the fact that I was treated like a human being and not a used and discarded tissue paper. We were mature adults that had a one night stand but we treated each other in a friendly manner. Just because you have a one nighter with someone doesn't mean you should be devoid of treating them like a person. We didn't exchange numbers, we saw each other at the same bar once or twice and we were always polite with each other saying hi, having a drink then going our separate ways. No one got clingy. No one got stalked, stabbed or stupid lol.Why is that so hard for you guys to do?? Lol .. C'mon guys! We'd all be getting laid more often if we treated each other like that while having one night stands. There's nothing wrong with having a one night stand.. we all have our reasons. Heart break, work, nympho's lol... whatever your reason it's no reason not to treat the woman with a little respect, maturity and humanity.
I hope I've shed a little light, opened a few eyes and given you perspective... If not I'm always open to questions, comments and feedback :)
I think my next post will be for the married men/ boyfriends.. Why are you guys not getting laid as much as you used to? Simple answer. Because you're lacking in the romance department and wives/gf's think you think they're not worth it anymore.... I'll explain more in the article :)
This blog isn't for men looking to add a few more notches to his belt. That's not what this is about. It's about spending a Night or a few hours with a person and not only immortalizing yourself but also not being a complete dick about the hook up.
Do you know who I am? I'll give you a hint. Think of your top 3 sexual experiences. You see those girls in your mind? The way they're forever immortalized for whatever reason you deemed fit? Maybe they had on the sexiest lingerie you ever saw. Maybe it was because you experienced something with that woman that you've never been able to replicate. Or maybe she just sucks your cock better, dirtier and sluttier than anyone you've ever been with. Whatever the reason, they have found a way to immortalize themselves sexually in your spank bank ( For those of you that are not sure what that is, it's the part of your memory you keep all you favorite sexual references for "spanking the monkey" a.k.a. masturbating. a "bank" for "spanking" hence the spank bank ;) ) . That's who I am. I'm the woman that will figure out your sexual needs in minutes, adjust and tailor my techniques so that when that night is over we may never see each other again but I have secured myself a spot as some of the best sex you ever had in your life. I don't mess around. I am self competitive. When I'm done with you, I want you to be exhausted, satiated and in some kind of euphoric state.I've said it before, here at BFWhisperer headquarters, I aim to please and I am damn good at it... the problem is men don't.
Guys just because it's a one night nsa (no strings attached) doesn't mean you shouldn't bring your A game to the table. I hear this from to many women and I've experienced it first hand. It's a Wham Bam and not even a Thank you Ma'am. You guys seem to confuse emotion and connection with maturity. We are grown ass mature adults! Why can't you have a good, passionate night of sex and go your separate ways in the morning?? When you guys have the woman just take care of you and hardly do anything for her that doesn't make it emotionless sex. That just makes you a selfish asshole. Plain and simple. So you guys are saying.. "But if there's any passion, connection or emotion involved the woman's gonna want more from me. She'll get 'clingy'." Not true. If you explain to a woman right off the bat that that's what you're looking for AND confirm she's looking for the same thing, not a fwb, not a companion or a boyfriend... your chances of a getting involved with a clingy woman are slim to none. Most of you just get to excited at the prospect of sticking your dick into a willing woman that you don't bother to really get those facts straight ;) and there in lies part of the problem.
I have the perfect story for this:
There are times when I'm just looking to get laid. I'm not interested in relationships etc at these times primarily because I'm going into my busy season at work and I don't have time. Anyway every now and then I'll post on Craigslist and see what comes of it. Most of the replies are ridiculous but after sifting through I might meet one or 2 guys. I met this guy, let's call him Gary, and he was cute! 10 years younger than I was at the time but I was just looking to get laid so what did I care?? lol. Gary was 24, in fantastic shape, pleasant to talk, easy going and chill. We get to the sex part and he asks me if I have any condoms. Ummm guys? WTF do I have a cock somewhere that I missed?? Please supply your own condoms. Women should not have to keep a supply of condoms in their homes for you! Do you have a set of birth control pills, female condoms or any female contraceptives in your home?? Exactly! You don't, so take care of your body and I'll take care of mine ;-) .. As it so happened I did but I let him know right away that that was a first and last time that was going to happen. So we're having sex... It's ok... nothing special but he's a kid so I try not to expect to much. I rock his world and he has a fantastic orgasm. He rolls over and is huffing and puffing to catch his breath and I'm waiting for him to catch his breath. Usually after the fact the guy will start taking care of me and my orgasm. Except of course, he didn't.When he looks like he's not getting ready to move into action I prop myself up on one hand and just stare at him until he says something. He says something along the lines of " Usually I'm really good at giving orgasm but I'm so tired right now. It's been a long day and I think your I'm allergic to your cat." Whaaaaat??! Is this A hole kidding me? So he's allergic to my cat when it's time for me to get mine but when he was fucking me and getting his orgasm he was fine????? I just smiled and said I understood. Politely gave him his clothes to get dressed and showed him out. I'm not stupid guys. I am not yelling at a strange man in my apartment. It's just me and him and I'm not looking to get shot, stabbed or killed over an orgasm lol. The next day he messaged me to tell me what a great time he had with me. I told him, well at least one of us had a good time! He said, "You didn't enjoy it?" What's to enjoy?? I didn't my orgasm! I told him as much and he asked if we could do it again and he promised he would give me a great orgasm. Ummm ya, because I have Stupid written on my forehead lol. I told him, Fool me once shame on you, fool me twice shame on me... there will be no shame on my part thanks. I took a pass. Erase, delete. Good bye.
This is a classic one night stand. Most guys get in, fuck you and get out. You ruin it for everyone! lol... How? Enough experiences like this and you guys make women like me want to take a pass on the sex because it's just not worth it. What's in it for me? I can't even get an orgasm out of it! Boo! God! If the sex was good I'd be banging guys whenever I felt the urge to get laid! Now I can't be bothered because the idea of bucking up with another one of these kinda guys is just so unappealing I'd rather take care of it myself! On the plus side I always I ensure I have an orgasm and I never have to look sexy for myself lol!
What is it about pleasing a woman that you guys just don't get it? How about this.. Let's say you and I are having sex. Everything is getting hot and heavy, you're all turned on, rock hard cock, and I have an orgasm. Then I roll over and relax but you still have a rock hard cock. I get up put my clothes on and leave. WTF... What a bitch right??! Ya, that's how we feel every time you guys don't give us an orgasm! Just because you can't see our cocks doesn't mean we don't need to get off too. Even if it's just one night, why not be immortalized as the best or one of the best one night stands she ever had??
Best one night stand I ever had? Eeeeasy...
I met someone at a bar. There was a definite physical connection right away. I was also quite drunk lol. At the time I was much younger and still learning to handle my liquor. When I got to their place we talked for a bit but I started to feel sick. So sick in fact that I ran to the bathroom and threw up everything! I was so embarassed and mortified! I mean who would want to have sex with a woman after that? Ewww lol. When I finally opened the bathroom door.. there was advil, tea, crackers and a spare toothbrush waiting for me :-o! And not a hint of judgement on their face. Talk about prepared. I was nursed right back to sobriety, brushed my teeth and we had some crazy great sex. We fell asleep and when I woke up there were eggs, bacon, toast, coffee and a plate waiting for me :-o ! We did the breakfast thing, talked like mature adults then I got dressed and as I was getting ready to leave they called me a cab and paid for the cab ride home. Unbelievable. To this day no other one night stand has ever surpassed this.
Why was that experience forever immortalized by me? Well, it was the fact that I was treated like a human being and not a used and discarded tissue paper. We were mature adults that had a one night stand but we treated each other in a friendly manner. Just because you have a one nighter with someone doesn't mean you should be devoid of treating them like a person. We didn't exchange numbers, we saw each other at the same bar once or twice and we were always polite with each other saying hi, having a drink then going our separate ways. No one got clingy. No one got stalked, stabbed or stupid lol.Why is that so hard for you guys to do?? Lol .. C'mon guys! We'd all be getting laid more often if we treated each other like that while having one night stands. There's nothing wrong with having a one night stand.. we all have our reasons. Heart break, work, nympho's lol... whatever your reason it's no reason not to treat the woman with a little respect, maturity and humanity.
I hope I've shed a little light, opened a few eyes and given you perspective... If not I'm always open to questions, comments and feedback :)
I think my next post will be for the married men/ boyfriends.. Why are you guys not getting laid as much as you used to? Simple answer. Because you're lacking in the romance department and wives/gf's think you think they're not worth it anymore.... I'll explain more in the article :)
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