In order to understand this post please read:
Being a Gentleman a.k.a. The Mysterious Oompa Loompa
BFW Personal Mini Blog Trilogy: Possible Oompa Loompa Part 1.
I've had a few people inquiring about my possible Oompa Loompa sighting. They want to know what happened. In order to explain what happened I need to start with what I call The Women's 5 Shades of Crazy. Basically, as a woman, speaking honestly.. I believe every woman is at least one shade of crazy lol. Here's the Craz-o-meter:
Shade1. To Cute Crazy : This is the woman that rarely gets angry but when she does you can't help but laugh or think "Awww she's sooo cute!" and the more you laugh the angrier she gets and either looks or sounds more and more like a cartoon character lol. This shade is harmless unless provoked to Shade 2 or higher.
Shade 2. Provoked Crazy: This woman is usually fairly normal, sane, rational until... you do something to provoke her crazy side. Usually, it entails lying, cheating, stealing, betrayal etc. When you've committed one or more of these acts you send her into a rage. A rage where she goes from normal to Tasmanian Devil the minute she finds out about whatever crime you committed against her lol. God help you...
Shade 3. 50/50 Crazy: This chic is like a walking oxymoron! One minute she says she wants you to call her next thing she's telling you " You're always calling me!" Or that she's independent, she can pay her own way but can you pay half her rent? :-s Or that she likes when you're affectionate but says " You're smothering me!" Lol this woman can't make up her mind! 50% of the time she wants something and then the other 50% she spends accusing you of over compensating. You constantly feel pulled in different directions and you're never sure what she wants! It's maddening! lol.
Shade 4. Sneek-Up-On-You Crazy: Most of you have had at least ONE girlfriend like this. For months this woman was perfect! You have nothing to complain about. Everyone compliments you and tells you how lucky you are to have her. Then one day, she snaps and it's like you're talking to a whole other person! Maybe you said you didn't want to meet her parents, maybe the buddy she hates crashed on your couch and wiped his dirty mouth in her guest towels or maybe you chose the superbowl over listening to her day or possibly you didn't appreciate something she went out of her way to do for you... whatever you did she broke and became Psycho Reborn! You no longer recognize her and you want your perfect girlfriend back because this one's scary! The crazy just snuck up on you and hit you in the face like a bitch slap! POW!
Shade 5. Psycho:This chic is full on mental. After the first couple of dates she's got you looking at rings and talking about baby names! She's the one that automatically assumes you're cheating on her because you didn't answer your phone.. while you were at work.. in a meeting.. with co-workers.. and leaves 20 crazy messages about how she's gonna mail you your balls. Crazy. Full fledged. 100%. These girls need a skull and crossed bones tattooed across their foreheads :DANGER! Hazardous to your health!
That brings us back to me. Why did we need to go through the 5 Shades of crazy? Because I'm a number 2 on the scale... which means I have to be provoked into my crazy. So you ask " BFW, What pray tell would provoke you into craziness? You're such a sweet and innocent woman??!" I know right??! ;-) lol Well here's what happened...
In my previous article about him we called Paul. Paul and I dated for 3 weeks and gentlemen I honestly can't complain about those 3 weeks. He did everything I outlined in my Dating Do's . He opened doors, arrived on time, listened to me, chose great restaurants, paid the bill, walked me to my door etc.. I mean he really treated me like a princess! If he said he'd call or text, without fail, he did it! It gave me a sense of calm and security, it made me feel special because I appreciate all the little things like that. I don't need expensive jewelry or designer bags. I am a woman though so if you give them to me I won't say No lol .. but that's not what I'm there for. I'm there for the connection the companionship, the fun, the laughter, the romance and let's face it, some good fucking sex! So "What went wrong, you ask?" You guys tell me because I'd love to hear your opinion and thoughts on this.
For 3 weeks, as I said, everything was good. In our last conversation he called me on his way home from work and he told me about a great guy and his wife that he met on site. He said that they had invited him and his girlfriend to come over for dinner. We were talking like usual... the kind you do after work to catch up on each others day so it was a nice light vibe. I jokingly said to him " Don't forget to tell your girlfriend she got invited to dinner! lol" He laughed and said "I am telling her!" I said " Is that really how you think of me?" And he said " Yea but I didn't want to offend you." I said " why would that be offensive? That's more of a compliment!" After that we continued talking like normal until he had gotten home and was heading to bed.That was the last I heard of him. I sent a couple messages the next day, no reply. I called, no answer. I left a couple of voice mails, nothing... here comes the crazy. I'm gonna break this down for you guys so you really understand what we go through.
Step 1. Panic and worry. We start to wonder if you're ok. Did you have a family emergency? Did you get into an accident? Are you passed out in a hospital somewhere??? Worry and Panic start to set in. It's unfathomable to us that you would just drop off the face of the earth and stop talking to us for no reason. We're mature adults so at the very least the guy will say something if he's ditching you right?WRONG.
Step 2. Blame. Again we don't always stop and think first " Maybe this guy's an asshole".. Instead we think " Was it something I said? Did I do something wrong??" We internalize and inflict doubt on ourselves thinking and rethinking about every little thing that happened the last time we spoke or saw each other as well as over the time span we were dating trying to figure out what in God's name is wrong with us! Because of course it has to be us and not him right??!
Step 3. Reality. Things start clicking and falling into place sometimes crashing. You start remembering little things that set off yellow flags but not so alarming as to set off the red flags in our minds.
Step 4. Realization and Coming to terms. At this point you start realizing he's not sick, hurt or dead. He's an ass that has ditched you and that leads you to....
Step 5. Rage. You're ready to tear this guy's life apart! Whatever he loves you want to rip it from him, destroy it and leave him holding the pieces...You want to inflict on him the hurt he inflicted on you.. And enjoy every second of it which leads you to..
Step 6. Crazy Mode. The wheels start turning and she starts devising plans, strategies or just a basic list of anything she can think of to cause you utter humiliation/embarrassment/ pain/loss ... anything that will rip that smug little smile off the face you want to beat the crap out of lol... are you starting to hear the crazy talking?? lol
I worried about the guy! At first I thought "What if he's sick, comatose or dead?!" but then I realized his phone is still getting charged each day. I wonder, what if it was because of me?? Was it something I said or did? Automatically I start blaming myself. Why else would a guy just leave me like that unless something was wrong with me? After a while I start thinking back to the little things. His online profile had private images instead of readily available images. We always went out in my area, although in all fairness when I asked about this he said it was closer to go somewhere around my area than his since he would pick me up from my place. Fair enough since he lived about a half hour drive from my place but it did raise a yellow flag. Also there were a couple times he said he was talking to me from home but was he? How do I know? They were very brief conversations as it was usually before bed time. He called often from work but that I can tell was true based on his career choice. Reality sets in.The guy that gave me everything I wanted in a man, dumped me. Without a word. Without a call. Like I was nothing but trash. That hurt and I realize what an asshole this guy is! I was worried about him! I had started to blame myself for a man that was a coward! He didn't even have the decency to say he didn't want to see me anymore! Pathetic fucking piece of shit jerk. I. Am. Pissed! I am going to make this guys life, a hell hole.
Using methods I chose not to disclose ( C'mon, I can't give away all our secrets ;-) lol) I found out where he lives and when I'm not as insanely busy with work, I'm going to have a little stake out and see what's happening. I am a very patient woman. I will leave this guy alone for months feeling like he got off Scott free! Easy peasy! He tricked another bitch and he's laughing his ass off thinking he's the shit... until I bring his world crashing down. I will Fuck. Up. His.Shit. Believe me when I say that will be part 3 of this story. Muwhahahahahaha! LOL! All Abroad! Here comes the crazy train!! lol
The ironic thing is... all he had to say was " I'm sorry I just don't think we're on the same page" or " I'm sorry, I have a wife and a kid and I didn't expect to connect to anyone." or SOMETHING!! For cripes sake guys! I just went out on date with a guy last Saturday and had to tell him " I think you're a nice guy, I enjoyed meeting you but I don't find you sexually attractive." He was fat.. It's just not my thing. If it works for you, rock it! I'm a firm believer but it didn't work for me. Just like my slimness or petite size doesn't work for others! It is what it is... the truth. And that's ok. It's better than pulling a disappearing act on the person. If he had said something I would've just walked away. Like I've said before, I don't chase men that don't want me. Simple as that. I do fuck up men that don't respect me though.
Here's how this feels: Think of something you dream of.. Let's say a Lamborghini or a Porche or something. One day someone walks up to you and gives you the keys to a brand spanking new car and tells you it's yours! Holy shit you've hit the jackpot! At first you don't dare to believe it's yours. The guys coming back for it any minute but you'll enjoy the ride while you can! Then those couple of days turn into a week and you're thinking "Is this really mine? Nahhh no way!" Another week goes by and now you're kinda getting used to the feeling of the car.. every time you walk out the front door and see it, it puts a smile on your face! Another week passes and now you're entirely enjoying the car. The guy that gave you the keys is totally gone from your mind! This baby is yours!! Then one day you get up, leave the house but the driveway is empty! WTF??! The car is gone. Not a scrap left to even say it was there! Was it real? You know you left it riiiight there ... How do you feel right now? Fuckin shitty right? Ya. That's what it feels like. Like you lost something great. Until you realize the guy was a fucking asshole for telling you it was yours then taking it back without even saying a word to you! Don't you just want to beat the crap out of this guy?? That feeling right there is what drives women into crazy mode... pun intended lol.
Now, I know what you're thinking. You're thinking I left out the part where he fucked me and took off right? Nope. We never had sex. We fooled around a bit within the 3 weeks but still spoke after that but no sex at all... So now what do you guys have to say?? Talk to me! I want to hear some thoughts, opinions, be honest but mature about what you have to say. I can take honesty but I can't stand disrespect... and for those of you that say " Ok BFW but is it really worth it to mess with the guy like that? Why not just leave it alone and move on? Will it really make you feel better?" Fair questions and to that I say YES!!! It will make me feel better.. It IS worth it. I won't leave it alone because I'm so sick and tired of men always doing this women. I'm tired of their cowardly ways. I'm tired of them bragging to the boys about how they just dropped a girl and they're moving on to the next one to do the same thing. I'm so tired of the lack of respect men in general have for women. It's frustrating and angering and I want to teach this bastard a lesson... Men rape, beat, kill, stab, abuse, abort women, wives, mothers, sisters, girlfriends, babies... What have we ever done to you guys to be treated so poorly? How often do women rape, beat, kill, stab, abuse or abort men? Think about it. I'm just tired of it plain and simple. This asshole is about to lose his shit.
Stay tuned for Part 3... I promise the crazy wears off after a while lol. Like a perfume ;-)
Thanks for continuing to come back and make my blog more popular! Please feel free to post to pass my link on to friends or post on Facebook! :) I appreciate your continued interest and as always I'm open to thoughts, comments and suggestions :-) Until my next blog... Have a good one! :-)
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