"Something very rare today. A man who is respectful and considerate of
those around him. Acts politely. Treats women with respect. Open doors
for them, pulls out chairs, and is classy. What more guys should be."
Being a Gentleman isn't just about how you treat women but everyone! For example:
I was on the transit the other day and a blind man got on the bus and asked if anyone could give him a seat.. Not one man got up however three women including myself attempted to offer their seat! Obviously he took the one closest to him but do you know what he said that really opened my eyes guys?? He said, "It's always the women." :-o !!! Shame! He then proceeded to hit on her in a somewhat funny yet creepy way but that's besides the point lol.
Guys!! Seriously?! What's going on? It's one thing to grumble about picking up a cheque but you guys don't even give the blind man a seat?? We need to work this out!
Here's a great example of a real Gentleman :
The other day I asked a friend if she wanted to get some dinner...Let's call her Jessica. She told me to hold on a sec, came back and invited me to go out with her and a friend visiting from Florida. He's a work colleague and he flies in for business here and there so when he comes into town they hang out... Let's call him John. I ask her if the restaurant takes debit and she says yes. Great! John picks us up and we head down to the restaurant John has selected. We had a great time! We talked, we laughed, we ate, we drank. Now my friend, she's single, intelligent, successful, younger than I am but nonetheless single like me so she has experienced similar dating woes. John is also successful, intelligent and married. We talk about his wife and he really loves her! After many years of marriage he still loves this woman deeply. He would give her the world on a platter if he could. I'm impressed. When the server comes he always let's us order first or let's us ask a million and one questions without even a blink of the eye. He is a patient man. One that has learned to deal with women through patience ... a lot of patience lol. Again I'm impressed. Throughout the conversation and dinner though I become aware of a guy sitting at a table next to us and naturally start to compare. John I believe is in his 40's or 50's, clean business professional haircut, great shape hasn't let himself go one bit. Casual dress shirt, no wrinkles. The guy beside him whom I think was on a date, DEFINITELY single, 30ish, had on a wrinkled shirt with a stain or two, lacked table manners and had a pot belly that needed it's own table. Folks if you wanna be plus size do your thing but wear it well! I say the same to the skinny minis! Just because you're slim doesn't mean I need to see your belly all the time! John is freaking married and STILL takes the time to keep himself looking good. Most guys after 30 don't (sad but true). Anyway I digress... I was basically marveling at the fact that the married man that has a wife still puts in the effort to keep himself looking good while the single guy clearly stopped caring long ago. After dinner and dessert the bill came and I pulled out my debit card to pay for my meal. Before I could, John was handling the bill. Bowled over impressed! Oh. My. God. It's a freaking Oompa Loompa!!! Live and in person!! They exist! Now.. where do I go to order my own? Single version please! Is there a special form? Secret password? Do I need to pop a pill?! Oh, tell me great Obi-Wan Kenobi! lol
You're probably thinking I'm more impressed by the fact that he took care of dinner right? I'd be lying if I didn't admit that ya, that was awesome... but it wasn't just that. It was that he truly embodied what a Gentleman was all about. He was polite, courteous, fun, entertaining, charming, treated us with respect, held open doors, allowed us to walk in front of him towards the table, picked us up and dropped us off AND he paid the bill.. and expected nothing in return. The married guy treated us with more class, respect, patience and manners than any single guy has in a long time! The guy should teach Ooompa Loompa 101 lol. His wife is lucky and I hope she realizes it :) .
Are you ready?? Here comes another tale from the BF Whisperers Tales of Dating Doom:
Sooo, I met this guy online. French, 40, slim, average looking, intelligent, Accountant. I should've known when I heard he was an Accountant lol *shaking my head* ...No offense guys!! He picks me up in a massive van and at first I'm thinking... "Um, do I really want to get in there??" He leans over to open the door (would've been better if he got out of the car to open the door ;) ) and when I open it, I peek in to verify there are no crazy axe murdering rapists in the back and when it's all clear I hop in. I instantly notice that the van has a faint B.O. (body odour) smell and I think "Oh God it's Eau de Pepe Le Pew! Ewww" (Hygenie gentlemen! Lol) But he's French so I'm trying to look past it! (oh stop! you know you were thinking it, I'm just bold enough to say it!) We decide to get Sushi. I love Sushi! Yay! We look at the menu and he starts asking if I tried this or that and I say yes and no accordingly. I'm in the mood for soft shell crab so that's what I order. He orders at least 5 dishes and encourages me to try a bit of each one. Now guys, I'm a small eater. I still eat kid's meals at fast food restaurants when I go and I mean Canadian size kids meals which are much smaller than American kid's meals so basically I take a bite or 2 of each dish but nothing more because I really can't handle it! Throughout the date we get to talking and I find out that he's not 40.. .but 52... 5 years younger than my mom at the time! Really? Really. Sorry guys, I like some freaky stuff sometimes but a guy old enough to be my daddy?... that's just to much freak for my little show! I stick around though because I'm polite, I'm a lady... and I was curious to see how much worse Pepe Le Pew was gonna get lol.
I didn't have to wait for long because when the cheque came he grabbed it, calculated it and told me EXACTLY how much my half of the bill was to the penny, oh yes I paid for half of the 5 dishes he ordered and the icing on the cake was when he said "I'll be a gentleman and pay the tip." And I looked at this man and realized he honestly thought he was doing me a favor! Lmao! Well you guys know me by now, I paid my half but I decided he at least owed me a ride home. And now folks, we come to my favorite part of the evening! He pulls up to the driveway of my building and starts to head toward the Visitor's parking lot. I ask him "Um, where are you going?" He looks at me with the most confused expression and said "I thought I was coming up to your place." Whaaaaat????! Guys?? I laughed so hard tears started streaming down my face! I mean.. Are you kidding me?? Pepe Le Pew with his cheap, lying, manipulative, stinky little self thought he was making his way back to my place? To get laid?? I mean what planet did this ape grow on?? I had to point toward the front of the building because I was still having trouble speaking through my laughter! I opened the door, got out, looked at his confused little face and thanked him for the ride home and nothing else. There was nothing else to thank him for! His number was deleted before I got to the elevator.
There was absolutely nothing gentlemanly about this guy! Guys take notes! When you go out on dates with women being a Gentleman shouldn't be an outfit you put on. As in it shouldn't be just to impress her. It should be about you, it should be who you are! Being a Gentleman is about having manners, being polite, treating dates, girlfriends, wives, wait staff, colleagues, people in general with respect and common courtesy! When was the last time you offered a pregnant woman your seat? When was the last time you helped a mother carry her stroller down the stairs? Offered to carry an old ladies groceries for her? Helped your mother, father, family member for no other reason than because they asked for your help? Treated a woman to dinner without the expectation that she owes you something for that meal?? Just for a few minutes I'd like you to honestly consider it.. :) And guys, if you're daddies, you really need to start stepping up to the plate and teaching your sons these things. Teach him not only how to be a man but to how to be a Gentleman because somewhere there is a disconnect and men today can't compare to the old school men of the past. The generation born in 70's on...Yup, this blog is mostly for you.
I believe we hold you guys to this standard because our father's and uncles are old school. This is what we expect because this is what we saw, this how we were taught a man should treat us. And if it's not them, I won't lie it's the RomCom's lol. Guys... if only you understood what a goldmine that is towards understanding what women want and what they expect. It's not a multimillion dollar industry for no reason! Open your eyes! We'll cover Romance in a future blog ;)
Gentlemen's Dating Cheat Sheet
1. Follow my First Date Do's and Don'ts Blog
2. Open doors, pull out chairs
3. Be polite
4. Be aware of your manners
5. Let her walk in front of you through doors or on the way to a table and let her choose what seat she wants to sit in. Whether she wants to sit in or out
6. Take initiative - choose a place or something to do keeping in mind things she likes! Don't leave everything up to her. If you're unsure ask her opinion but don't make it entirely her choice
7. Pay the bill
8. Make sure she gets home safely
9. Actions speak louder than words so only say you'll do something if you plan on doing it
10. Seriously read the do's and don'ts.. :)
In general guys, being a Gentleman shouldn't be a temporary thing, not just something you do for a few hours a night sometimes! It should be who you are all the time. At home, at work, with friends, family or dates. Often some of you start as Gentlemen and once the woman falls for you it stops! Why?? Now that she's with you she doesn't deserve to still be treated like a lady?? Lol come on guys! It sends a bad message! You're not ALL assholes! I have faith in you guys... well at least some of you! lol. You too can be some woman's Oompa Loompa lol! Why wouldn't you want to be a better man today than you were yesterday? :)
Oh and I almost forgot.. Allo and Guten Tag to my German friends, Zdravstvuj to my Russian friends, Hallo to my friends in the Netherlands and Welcome my new friends in the UK!! :D
Until next time folks :) .... I think my next blog will be about one night stands.. We definitely need to talk about that! lol ;)
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