Saturday 14 July 2012

Origins of the BFWhisperer

Sex. Dating. Relationships. One Night Stands... Guys you really need some help with all of it! This blog is born not out of anger, bitterness or hatred for the male sex but just pure unadulterated frustration! I  want to create this blog to help me get it out but also through my stories I hope to offer you a perspective you never thought of or realized and to give a you a good laugh in the hopes that you learn something that helps you to understand the women in your life and how your actions affect them but also I hope my stories, advice or recommendations make your life with women a little easier :) .

MY DISCLAIMER: I am not an expert when it comes to anything I speak about in this blog. Everything is based on my experience and perspective. I can not and will not be responsible for the fall out of anything you chose to do based on this blog but I can say I will always be honest, straightforward and will act with the best of intentions. The only thing that will not be true in this blog are names, locations or identities and pics should I chose to include them later. Most likely it will be a pic reflective of the topic but not from any actual person in my stories or blog.

So... what prompted this blog? A guy  who was supposed to have sex with me and stood me up. We therefore title this first blog...

COURTESY

Let me give you some background information about myself. I am 35, attractive, 5' 2, 118 lbs, slim petite, single black female (sbf) and I'm in the gym 3-5 /wk. I work a lot and it's not your typical 9-5 job.I've never smoked a day in my life and I don't do drugs, never even tried one that wasn't an over the counter including weed. Hello and welcome to the rare Black Personis Non-Weedis. A truly  rare and remarkable species.. says the old British Narrator lol. I try to date but it's hard to find the right kind of guy in my age category that hasn't let himself go ( this is a whole other blog). In the meantime I was looking for a fwb and found one in a 28 yrs old student in a Ph.D program. I find intelligent men incredibly  hot! lol.. And he's in the Army Reserves.. more hotness lol. Anyway we've had sex here and there over a couple of years but never anything consistent. We've always stayed in contact.  Well this year I had sex with him earlier in the year but since then I have had a world of health problems.

In December I pulled a muscle in my chest while sneezing! I mean seriously??! who does that??! ME!  So I decided to stop working out so that I wouldn't  re-injure or further injure the muscle. After a month it hadn't gone away and was in fact getting worse. I had also found out in October that my PAP test came back as abnormal and although my doctor assured me that that was normal and happened to a lot of women I was sure it was serious. She said I had 2 options: 1. retake the test in 6 months or 2. see a Gynecologist and get biopsied. Getting the biopsy done would get definitive results and I wanted to waste no time so I chose option number 2. So in January I went in to get the muscle looked at and I had the Gynecologist appointment later in the month. Guess what happened??? I found out that my blood pressure (bp) was consistently to high for my age so I'm sent for a slew of tests. Ultrasound, ECG,  and blood work. Turns out I need to see a Cardiologist! I go to the Gynecologist and the results from the Biopsy say I have Pre-Cancerous cells so I'm scheduled to have a minor surgery done to remove the cells from my cervix... oh and did I mention the doctor was  good enough to give me these results just before I went on vacation for 2 weeks??? OH YA! Good times!!! So.. Recap. I'm 35, take pretty good care of myself, I have high bp, and pre-cancerous cells in my vag jay jay!!! The Cardiologist makes me take home a portable bp monitor where I take my bp every day for 6 weeks AND I get the pre-cancerous cells removed in April (there's nothing fun about being shot up with adrenaline deep deep DEEP in your vag jay jay while you smell the doctor burning off your flesh to remove the pre-cancerous cells!! Oh yum :-s  )  where I spend the next 4  weeks bleeding profusely. I was exhausted, tired and feeling generally crappy and unattractive. And because I was not allowed to work out with all these things going on I gained 12 lbs and got flabby. I hated it. I felt so very unattractive. Now honestly, I didn't get fat. It was just that I was used to my body being firm, tight and toned so losing it and becoming the way I looked, my self esteem tanked. Anyway moving along swiftly.. At the end of May I was cleared to go back to the gym! Yay!!!! I started in June and it has been a process. It's so easy for the body to go from firm to flabby but in our 30's it's so hard to get it back! 6 weeks in and I'm just starting to see signs of my old body coming back. I've lost 6 lbs and things are slowly on the rise for me physically... which brings us to this evening. Why did my health history matter?? It's been 6 months since I've entertained the idea of having sex. 6 MONTHS!!! I am a sexual being!! I need to get laid! I enjoy sex! Both giving and receiving. I'm not shy! My self esteem started to come back and so  did my libido! Gung Ho!! lol So I called upon this guy to help me get mah groove back! Let's call him..Paul. Paul is REALLY good at Fucking. He sucks at foreplay and oral but he's got a great package and knows how to use it! We've had sex before, we've had issues before but I thought for sure he'd come through this time. I even messaged him last night and asked if he was coming and he said "ya why?" And I said " Just checking, wasn't sure if you were still coming." Didn't hear back from him but didn't think anything of it either.


I run home after work today, I tidy up, I shower, scrub, shave, brush my teeth, moisturize my body so that everything is smooth and sleek like silk! I like being touched and when the skin is soft and silky men enjoy touching more and here at BFwhisperer headquarters, I aim to please ;) lol. I get dressed and ready, he should be here any minute.... except he isn't. I wait 5, 10, 20, 30 mins... I realize.. he's not coming. I text him no reply. I call him, the phone's off. I am royally pissed! After 6 months of no sex I really wanted to let loose some of this built up tension. In short, I need to get fucked.  Not to mention.. first time with this new vag jay jay! I wanted to know if it would change things! Would I feel more? less? Could I still have sex the way I had before? I've read so many other women's comments on other sites post surgery and there are so many different views on what happens afterward that I wanted to experience it for myself. Finally know... All he had to do was call or text. At least respect the fact that I'm at home waiting for him to rock my world! I get that life is busy but guys, life is NEVER so busy that you don't have 2 mins to send a message and say " Hi, sorry I can't make it tonight... any chance I can make it up to you tomorrow?" or whenever is best to reschedule. It all just comes down to common courtesy. Even better yet is having the courtesy to be man enough to pick up the phone in this day and age of text and email to personally deliver a heartfelt apology for the cancellation with the offer to make it up. Most sane women will be perfectly understanding about that given the reason is a good one. The crazy ones will bite your head off no matter what the reason lol. I can't help with that part, crazy is crazy! lol


The Moral of the story is: Show the woman a little respect and courtesy and you're bound to save yourself the emotional break downs, cursing, silent treatment etc. and possibly ensure that you continue to get laid lol. No matter what type of relationship you have with a woman from (no strings attached) NSA to Marriage, a little respect and courtesy go a long way.



As for Paul? He's been sacked. That's the end of his season. His contract will not be renewed. I can burn his jersey and pitch it off the top of a building lol. He's Done.

So there you have it gentlemen! That is how the birth of the BoyFriend Whisperer came to be. A legend to be told far and wide until the end of  time. What does the future hold for our  dear BFW? ... says the Old British Narrator lol <--- I love this guy! lol


Until next time folks... :)

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