So, I know I've been M.I.A. ( missing in action) for the last 6 months but a lot has happened! You guys know I'm big supporters of yours right? Well, I went from having faith in men, to losing my faith in men and back to my faith being mildly rekindled... I'm working on it. What can I say?? I'm almost a born again believer in men lol... almost. Don't break out the holy water aka as beer just yet!
I'd like to take a quick sec and say Guten Tag and Danke again to my audience in Germany that seems to continue to follow my blog faithfully even though I was M.I.A :).
I'm going to be typing up a few articles over the next little while so stay tuned as I get you guys caught up! :) Until then I'll post another article in a few mins.
BFW
Tuesday, 11 June 2013
Sunday, 2 December 2012
A Continuous Spiral...
I feel like I've been caught up in a tornado of craziness this year. This particular post isn't about dating and may be one of the very few posts that aren't but I needed to write, to express myself.Work has been overwhelmingly busy this season and it's been hard to find the time to write and post. On Thursday, I was delivered a devastating blow. My best friend died.
I have never in my life lost someone that I was close too. This was a hard first blow. He was 37, young, healthy, non-smoker. Last week he had a stomach flu type thing and was experiencing vomiting, diarrhea, dehydration and migraines. He went to the doctor and the doc said he had a Gastrointestinal Infection. Saturday night he had a seizure. He has never had one before. A friend was with him and called 911 right away and started performing CPR. Paramedics showed up and shocked his heart back to life. It took half an hour to bring him back but they did. He had a CT Scan done and everything was clear. Angiogram (to check his heart) also came back as clear. He was placed on a sedative and had a ventilator put in to help him breathe since it was so strong that it could actually sedate you so heavily your body forgets to breathe. He was looking good after his tests so they decided to slowly ween him off the sedative to bring him back so he'd wake up. Unfortunately he never did.On Tuesday, I got the call that he was not doing well. His body stopped breathing on it's own when they tried to take him off the ventilator. His brain started swelling. I went to visit him in the hospital and it was unbelievable.I was told that that was it. There was nothing more they could do. I was going into that room to say good bye to the best friend I've ever known. When I walked into that room to say what I had to say it was like being in a strange universe. All around me were other patients, in other beds, looking like death. Who were these people? So many of them old, having lived long lives. My friend did not belong here. When I saw him my heart broke. I didn't recognize him. The man that was so full of life and love was just a shell with tubes in his nose and sticking out of his mouth. His face, tongue and eyes were swollen along with his body. Computer screens beeping and buzzing all around him. I didn't recognize him, I recognized another friend sitting beside him. Everything I had to say got caught up in my throat. I bawled. It was painful to see him like that knowing that he will never recover. No hope. No answers. No one knew why he had the seizure. No one knew why as a young, healthy male he wasn't responding to treatment. Once the word got out the visitor rate was insane. People were coming from everywhere to say their good byes. A nurse said to us " I'm sorry to ask this but is he a celebrity?? I've never seen this many visitors for one patient.." . On Thursday afternoon my best friend died. I have never felt emotional pain like that before.
When people die everyone always says how special the person was. I mean you see it on the news all the time! You have no idea who these people are and although when their picture flashes on the screen and you hear things like "involved in a gang shooting" etc I don't know about you but I start to question the validity of how special that person was lol. My best friend truly was an amazing individual. He was intelligent, funny, he listened, he loved, he extended anything he had to you. He lived his life with passion, zest, and connectivity. A community builder, volunteer, Vice-Principal, Dance teacher, a friend, a son, a brother, and nephew. He was the glue that kept us all together. There was never a time he wasn't willing to make time for you. As another friend said " He was a man that loved us all as a whole but as individuals as well." This is the truest summarizing statement that embodies the essence of who he was as a person more than you will ever know.
He loved me better than any other man ever has because he accepted me as I am. He made me a better person. He helped me through my struggles and always had kind things to say to motivate me. He told me when I was wrong lol ( which is very rare by the way ;) lol) . He made me think things through. He was always patient with me and God knows I can tax a man's patience lol..He gave me the bare balls truth on everything because he knew that's what I needed to grow as a human being. I know who I am and I am not easy to love but he did anyway, effortlessly. For those of you saying " Why wasn't he your boyfriend?" ... because he was gay lol. He was my homosexual life mate lol. He accepted my crassness, blunt, loud, honest, open and challenging parts of my personality like no other person ever has. He was one the few individuals that saw what I truly was and loved me all the more.
I have learned a few things since his passing last week that I would like to share with you all.
Take Pictures. Even if you hate them. Pictures aren't for you but for the ones you love because when you're gone we only have pictures, memories and each other to hold on to to help us through our hard times.
Erase any dirty pics you have! God knows we had to get rid of tons before his mom found them on his iPhone or MACBook lol.
Celebrate Birthdays. On the day that person is born, that was the day your life changed whether you were alive or not because on that day your paths were fated to collide and whatever this person added to your life it changed you, shaped you and helped make you who you are today. If they had not been born how would their lack of influence changed your life? Celebrate their birth so you can thank them for being who they are and helping to make you who you are.
Tell their parents/family members about the impact they had on your life. This seems to make them feel better. That they brought someone into the world that touched and changed lives. It provides a bit of solace. Often, we give them our condolences but we don't give back the connection their child/family member gave to us.
Live life! I know that sounds cliche but my friend lived a short but full life. He did so much and affected SO many people! He truly seized the day lol.
With that said, I bid my best friend good-bye. I thank the friend that was with him because without him performing CPR I never would've had the opportunity to say good-bye and make peace with him. I was given a rare gift. Most people just lose their loved ones, I at least got the chance to say good-bye and wish him well with the next stage of his journey, after life or whatever happens after we're gone. Maybe he's just peeping over my shoulder as I type lol. He loved Whitney Houston and Michael Jackson and I'm sure that's why he forgot to come back, to busy dancing and having the time of his after life lol. I bet he asked Whitney " Bobbi Brown? I mean, Really??" Lol. I will miss him every day of my life for the rest of my life but he taught me many invaluable lessons and I will continue them and learn from how he lived life so that maybe one day I will touch as many souls as he has. XOXOXO Dre. I will always love you. I can't believe I have to say good-bye.
I have never in my life lost someone that I was close too. This was a hard first blow. He was 37, young, healthy, non-smoker. Last week he had a stomach flu type thing and was experiencing vomiting, diarrhea, dehydration and migraines. He went to the doctor and the doc said he had a Gastrointestinal Infection. Saturday night he had a seizure. He has never had one before. A friend was with him and called 911 right away and started performing CPR. Paramedics showed up and shocked his heart back to life. It took half an hour to bring him back but they did. He had a CT Scan done and everything was clear. Angiogram (to check his heart) also came back as clear. He was placed on a sedative and had a ventilator put in to help him breathe since it was so strong that it could actually sedate you so heavily your body forgets to breathe. He was looking good after his tests so they decided to slowly ween him off the sedative to bring him back so he'd wake up. Unfortunately he never did.On Tuesday, I got the call that he was not doing well. His body stopped breathing on it's own when they tried to take him off the ventilator. His brain started swelling. I went to visit him in the hospital and it was unbelievable.I was told that that was it. There was nothing more they could do. I was going into that room to say good bye to the best friend I've ever known. When I walked into that room to say what I had to say it was like being in a strange universe. All around me were other patients, in other beds, looking like death. Who were these people? So many of them old, having lived long lives. My friend did not belong here. When I saw him my heart broke. I didn't recognize him. The man that was so full of life and love was just a shell with tubes in his nose and sticking out of his mouth. His face, tongue and eyes were swollen along with his body. Computer screens beeping and buzzing all around him. I didn't recognize him, I recognized another friend sitting beside him. Everything I had to say got caught up in my throat. I bawled. It was painful to see him like that knowing that he will never recover. No hope. No answers. No one knew why he had the seizure. No one knew why as a young, healthy male he wasn't responding to treatment. Once the word got out the visitor rate was insane. People were coming from everywhere to say their good byes. A nurse said to us " I'm sorry to ask this but is he a celebrity?? I've never seen this many visitors for one patient.." . On Thursday afternoon my best friend died. I have never felt emotional pain like that before.
When people die everyone always says how special the person was. I mean you see it on the news all the time! You have no idea who these people are and although when their picture flashes on the screen and you hear things like "involved in a gang shooting" etc I don't know about you but I start to question the validity of how special that person was lol. My best friend truly was an amazing individual. He was intelligent, funny, he listened, he loved, he extended anything he had to you. He lived his life with passion, zest, and connectivity. A community builder, volunteer, Vice-Principal, Dance teacher, a friend, a son, a brother, and nephew. He was the glue that kept us all together. There was never a time he wasn't willing to make time for you. As another friend said " He was a man that loved us all as a whole but as individuals as well." This is the truest summarizing statement that embodies the essence of who he was as a person more than you will ever know.
He loved me better than any other man ever has because he accepted me as I am. He made me a better person. He helped me through my struggles and always had kind things to say to motivate me. He told me when I was wrong lol ( which is very rare by the way ;) lol) . He made me think things through. He was always patient with me and God knows I can tax a man's patience lol..He gave me the bare balls truth on everything because he knew that's what I needed to grow as a human being. I know who I am and I am not easy to love but he did anyway, effortlessly. For those of you saying " Why wasn't he your boyfriend?" ... because he was gay lol. He was my homosexual life mate lol. He accepted my crassness, blunt, loud, honest, open and challenging parts of my personality like no other person ever has. He was one the few individuals that saw what I truly was and loved me all the more.
I have learned a few things since his passing last week that I would like to share with you all.
Take Pictures. Even if you hate them. Pictures aren't for you but for the ones you love because when you're gone we only have pictures, memories and each other to hold on to to help us through our hard times.
Erase any dirty pics you have! God knows we had to get rid of tons before his mom found them on his iPhone or MACBook lol.
Celebrate Birthdays. On the day that person is born, that was the day your life changed whether you were alive or not because on that day your paths were fated to collide and whatever this person added to your life it changed you, shaped you and helped make you who you are today. If they had not been born how would their lack of influence changed your life? Celebrate their birth so you can thank them for being who they are and helping to make you who you are.
Tell their parents/family members about the impact they had on your life. This seems to make them feel better. That they brought someone into the world that touched and changed lives. It provides a bit of solace. Often, we give them our condolences but we don't give back the connection their child/family member gave to us.
Live life! I know that sounds cliche but my friend lived a short but full life. He did so much and affected SO many people! He truly seized the day lol.
With that said, I bid my best friend good-bye. I thank the friend that was with him because without him performing CPR I never would've had the opportunity to say good-bye and make peace with him. I was given a rare gift. Most people just lose their loved ones, I at least got the chance to say good-bye and wish him well with the next stage of his journey, after life or whatever happens after we're gone. Maybe he's just peeping over my shoulder as I type lol. He loved Whitney Houston and Michael Jackson and I'm sure that's why he forgot to come back, to busy dancing and having the time of his after life lol. I bet he asked Whitney " Bobbi Brown? I mean, Really??" Lol. I will miss him every day of my life for the rest of my life but he taught me many invaluable lessons and I will continue them and learn from how he lived life so that maybe one day I will touch as many souls as he has. XOXOXO Dre. I will always love you. I can't believe I have to say good-bye.
Monday, 29 October 2012
BFW: Personal Mini Blog Trilogy: Eyes Wide Open Part 3
In order to understand this blog please read the following previous blogs:
Being a Gentleman a.k.a. The Mysterious Oompa Loompa
BFW Personal Mini Blog Trilogy: Possible Oompa Loompa Sighting Part 1
BFW Personal Mini Blog Trilogy: Here Comes The Crazy Train Part 2
First of all, I'd like to thank everyone that's taken the time to read my blog :) .. even more so, I'd like to thank those of you that know me and were concerned enough to check up on me! Big Hugs! That was the Barney portion of the blog... Is Barney still around btw?? lol.
Aaand she's back! The crazy train has left the building and I'm back! Woohoo! So over this last week I had some new developments.Firstly, I've asked some guys for feedback in terms of what they thought about the blog. All of them were on the same page in terms of liking the blog and what I had to say. Although they all couldn't believe I got fooled, they were all in full agreement that I needed to get laid lol.. Surprise surprise. Because that's a man's prescription for everything lol.. Lost a foot? You need to get laid! Stomach hurting you? You need to get laid! Got something in your eye? You need to get laid! Tired of being pregnant? You need to get laid! ( Actually that one is true! ) Lol.. If only the worlds problems could be solved with sex lol.
One guys comments triggered some self reflection though. I asked four different guys from four different walks of life for their opinion. The only thing they have in common is that they are male. With the guy we're talking about let's call him Greg. I met Greg through Craigslist once upon a time ago when I posted an ad looking for a fwb. We've never actually met but we've messaged here and there over months. At first he said he liked it. I had warned him that it was an angry blog and after reading it he agreed. He said he liked it but it was just one woman's opinion. The second part of that statement triggered some yellow flags. For me this was a passive aggressive signal so I wanted to hear what was the truth because that's what I'm after. If I ask for someone's opinion, give it to me. The good with the bad. Don't tell me what you THINK I want to hear. The other guys on the panel know this and I've told this guy more than once but he was still with the passive aggressiveness... until I pushed him. I said I was going to stop asking for his opinion because he didn't really get me. Oh boy! That pushed him right over the edge. He said I needed to stop analyzing everything! Lol... ummm this is the point of asking for feedback! So that you can analyze it and make it better! I'm not asking for a pat on the back! I want to know if I'm heading in the right direction with this blog. After that I got a slew of messages saying I'm self-righteous, entitled, insecure, I over think a lot, my recent experiences have left me doubting myself.. it's very palpable, my thinking came from the 50's, I live in a land of make believe, I don't read, I don't listen, I'm annoying, not to smart ( his exact words were " I can't believe you didn't know you were getting played!") and that he "doesn't like girls that think they should be put on a pedestal cause they have a vagina.". Apparently he thinks that I think I deserve to be treated like a princess.. talk about not reading! Guys, I said that was what made those three weeks great! He made me FEEL special. and that he treated me like a princess not that I deserved to be treated like one. I deserve respect. And anything I expect I give in return. Well at least I finally got some honesty out of him! lmao.. After a while I say I'm going to stop now because you're pissed and this conversation isn't getting better. You seem to think I'm a terrible person and I can't change that." He said " I don't think you're terrible at all. I think you can get really annoying because you don't listen or read. You just want to get your point across." Ummm... Does anyone else see how this statement is contradictory? I'm not a terrible person in his eyes but I'm entitled, self-righteous... etc? Lol God help me, if that's not a terrible person what is in this guys book?? I did ask and he failed to comment. The devil must look like an angel in his books too! Lol.
Shortly thereafter, I asked the other guys to read the article and give me their honest feedback. Now these guys know me much better. They get my vision for this blog so they don't mind the questions and they give me hardcore truth and reality.. politely and maturely... Because we're adults. Mature adults. I quickly came to realize that this guy and his opinions were all on his own. The other guys didn't make the same comments. The only thing they said they weren't wild about was seeing me exact any kind of revenge on the other guy, Paul. They all thought I should let it go. As for Greg, they along with myself, think my articles may have hit a sensitive nerve so the guy lashed out at me. Meh. If the other guys were on board with his thinking this would cause me to sit back and reflect because that is not the person I am and that is not who I would like to be perceived as so what I had to figure out was if his assessment of me was accurate or not. Having talked to the other guys I believe that his assessment was inaccurate. I hit a nerve with Greg which is unfortunate because he's actually quite intelligent but obviously not a big fan of mine lol. Ah well, what can you do? Like I said I'm not made for everybody. I'm a tough cookie. I'm hard to handle and I know it. The good part is as hard as I might be to handle I'll always have a friend's back. I'm trustworthy, I'm honest, I'm loyal, I have a good heart and I'm one of few hard ass women that's willing to give you guys a bird's eye view into a woman's mind. Tough as shit as we are, we still have a soft spot in some places here and there. Even a strong woman is not perfect or invincible. I let you guys see my vulnerability because I want you to understand that as much as I am a strong woman, even when I get knocked down, I have to get back up. Sometimes it takes a little longer but I will get back up and continue on my little journey. But don't mistake my vulnerability for weakness or insecurity. Because this is the side you don't see. You don't get to see our hurt, our pain, our anger because we are resilient and we wear fabulous designer masks! Lol
So what happened with Paul? A month has passed since that last conversation where he asked me to be his girlfriend then disappeared. It took me 3 weeks before I could write that last article because I was SO pissed off. Most people think it's because I really liked the guy. More than I should have. But that wasn't it. If you guys really read the article it was because of the utter lack of respect. The common denominator in all my articles. If he had just said something I would've been fine. Maybe a little disappointed but definitely not anywhere near Crazy Mode.
I'm talking to my Ex/Friend ( yes, a man and woman that were involved but are now friends! Shocking right??! lol). We've been Ex's for over 10 yrs, let's call him Xavier lol. We're talking about this last post and I am just venting! I'm mad at men, I'm mad at the world ARRRRGGHH! Lol Poor guy but he's a good guy for listening to me :) . Anyway right in the middle of us talking my other line beeps! I'm thinking WTF? It's 1am.. who's calling me now? I look at the phone and isn't it... Paul??! W. T. F. That was a shocker! I tell Xavier who it is and he gets all excited! He wants me to answer it. As much as I want to, I refuse. Xavier says "See how you women say you're not into games but you're playing games now." I explained myself. Guys, at 1 am you have no business calling me. If you want to speak to me you can call me at a respectable time especially when you know you're in the wrong. Secondly, I was in a pissed off state so how do you guys think that conversation would go down?? Not very well right? Xavier understood where I was coming from right then and there.Talking to a woman while she's at the height of being pissed is dangerous to your health lol. If he was serious he could call me tomorrow.
The message light started flashing. Xavier got excited again he wanted me to check it and call him right back.. you guys love drama more than women sometimes lmao ;) . While trying to retrieve the message Paul calls back so I can't answer the message! Sally ( that's my phone's name) starts asking me "Are you still there??" And I'm like "Hell ya i'm still here!" lol I have to wait until it stops ringing. When I pick up the message it's club noise. Just the one message though even though he called twice...
I eventually can't contain myself anymore and send the following message later on. " Are you serious? You're pocket dialing me from a club? At least your phone has the balls to attempt to say something... Twice." Almost immediately I get the following text messages " I'm sorry" "I'm with Shane West from Nikita and Jackie from Bold and the Beautiful." Lol Like I give a fuck??! " How are you?" "I'm at cinema" .. Are you guys ready? Here comes my favorite part... "I was in Greece for a month and forgot my phone here." "You don't want to talk to me anymore?" OMG. Can I tell you when I read these messages most of my anger dissolved because I realized two things. 1. He really was just an asshole in sheep's clothing and 2. He realized that whatever girl he was currently dating he wasn't to wild about so he's trying to hop back onto my train. If he was happy with the other girl I would've never heard from him again... so now he's starting to doubt his choice! How so? Because he took the time to think up a lie and lying requires much more energy than the truth and you'd only do it if you were trying to get back what you lost because you believe or are worried they won't accept the truth.I swear I just gave birth to a child because I feel 10 pounds lighter! Who needs Jenny Craig??! Faaaabu!
Now guys, I have already said, I'm a fair woman because I am. My reply was " If you're really sorry call me one of these days and we'll meet up somewhere to talk. I'm not making any promises but I can at least say I'll hear you out." I believe in trying to give some people the benefit of the doubt... not to mention at this point I want to hear if the lying will continue or will he grow a pair of balls.. like his iPhone did ;) lol .. Btw, in hindsight, I believe he called and not his pocket. Why? He was to quick to reply after my first message. When you pocket dial from a club most times it's hours later plus a hangover when you realize people are messaging you that you pocket dialed them at whatever time in the morning lol.
The next morning I message him to say " So were those real or drunk texts last night?" He says " Let me call you when I get over this crazy hang over. Shane West is a crazy mother fucker!!!" I tell him I'll be available after 10 pm. Listen guys at that point I had work then plans afterward. I'm not stopping or interrupting my plans for this guy so if he's serious he can call me after 10pm. 10 pm came and went no call. I called and left the following message. " With a last name like yours, one that signifies courage and bravery it's unfortunate that you don't have any. You have the last name but you don't embody it and that's unfortunate and shameful. That your iPhone has more balls than you do is quite telling. I'm disappointed not only in you but in myself for believing in you. Our last date (mystery dinner theatre) when I was the only one at the whole table to figure out who the murderer was, should have been an indication that I have a few more brain cells than the average woman you're used to dating. And then you come with an excuse like, I was in Greece and forgot my phone here?? In the age of communication you couldn't find a WiFi, a laptop, an email address or at the very least email through the dating site we met on? Come on, it's been over a month, even you can't be that dense. It's sad and pathetic and I don't need it or you. Have a nice life and don't call me again." When he pocket dialed me again conveniently at 1am again ( his phone has an interesting habit of ignoring me for a whole month and then all of a sudden I get pocket dialed only at 1 am! Go figure! :-s lol) I sent a message the next day saying " Hi Paul... please delete my number. The pocket dialing is unnecessary. Thanks." That's the end of that.
To finish off this Tale of Wonder and Horror lol, I want to share a quote with you and summarize. " If you can recognize illusion as illusion, it dissolves. The recognition of illusion is also it's ending. It's survival depends on your mistaking it for reality. In the seeing of who you are not, the reality of who you are emerges by itself." Eckhart Tolle, A New Earth. I promised one of the guys I'd read it.. still reading lol. This is a very powerful quote because it was so true. Let's face it, I got duped. Probably because I wanted to believe. I want to believe in you guys. I've always supported and defended men. Here I am still trying to offer help, advice, insight.. a laugh lol.. whatever it is that you get from this blog. In my line of work I see the men I describe and they're married but because of them, I know these types of men exist, they're just rare. I see the joy that these women have because of the man in their lives. The point is I saw an illusion for 3 weeks. Later I recognized the illusion. And when I did, it ended and his real self emerged. I saw what he was and I refused to be fooled any longer. I took control of the situation and let him know he lost. Does he give a crap? I don't care. I am absolved. This was about him being an ass and not me being unworthy. I care that I saved myself and I know what I am. I am a kick ass woman.
As usual, I appreciate any feedback, opinions, thoughts... as long as they're expressed maturely :-) Have a Happy Halloween! And once again, Allo and Guten Tag to my German friends, Zdravstvuj to my Russian friends, Hallo to my friends in the Netherlands and Hello to my UK friends!! :D Add me on Facebook at Bf Whisperer.. :)
Back to my usual blogging...
Being a Gentleman a.k.a. The Mysterious Oompa Loompa
BFW Personal Mini Blog Trilogy: Possible Oompa Loompa Sighting Part 1
BFW Personal Mini Blog Trilogy: Here Comes The Crazy Train Part 2
First of all, I'd like to thank everyone that's taken the time to read my blog :) .. even more so, I'd like to thank those of you that know me and were concerned enough to check up on me! Big Hugs! That was the Barney portion of the blog... Is Barney still around btw?? lol.
Aaand she's back! The crazy train has left the building and I'm back! Woohoo! So over this last week I had some new developments.Firstly, I've asked some guys for feedback in terms of what they thought about the blog. All of them were on the same page in terms of liking the blog and what I had to say. Although they all couldn't believe I got fooled, they were all in full agreement that I needed to get laid lol.. Surprise surprise. Because that's a man's prescription for everything lol.. Lost a foot? You need to get laid! Stomach hurting you? You need to get laid! Got something in your eye? You need to get laid! Tired of being pregnant? You need to get laid! ( Actually that one is true! ) Lol.. If only the worlds problems could be solved with sex lol.
One guys comments triggered some self reflection though. I asked four different guys from four different walks of life for their opinion. The only thing they have in common is that they are male. With the guy we're talking about let's call him Greg. I met Greg through Craigslist once upon a time ago when I posted an ad looking for a fwb. We've never actually met but we've messaged here and there over months. At first he said he liked it. I had warned him that it was an angry blog and after reading it he agreed. He said he liked it but it was just one woman's opinion. The second part of that statement triggered some yellow flags. For me this was a passive aggressive signal so I wanted to hear what was the truth because that's what I'm after. If I ask for someone's opinion, give it to me. The good with the bad. Don't tell me what you THINK I want to hear. The other guys on the panel know this and I've told this guy more than once but he was still with the passive aggressiveness... until I pushed him. I said I was going to stop asking for his opinion because he didn't really get me. Oh boy! That pushed him right over the edge. He said I needed to stop analyzing everything! Lol... ummm this is the point of asking for feedback! So that you can analyze it and make it better! I'm not asking for a pat on the back! I want to know if I'm heading in the right direction with this blog. After that I got a slew of messages saying I'm self-righteous, entitled, insecure, I over think a lot, my recent experiences have left me doubting myself.. it's very palpable, my thinking came from the 50's, I live in a land of make believe, I don't read, I don't listen, I'm annoying, not to smart ( his exact words were " I can't believe you didn't know you were getting played!") and that he "doesn't like girls that think they should be put on a pedestal cause they have a vagina.". Apparently he thinks that I think I deserve to be treated like a princess.. talk about not reading! Guys, I said that was what made those three weeks great! He made me FEEL special. and that he treated me like a princess not that I deserved to be treated like one. I deserve respect. And anything I expect I give in return. Well at least I finally got some honesty out of him! lmao.. After a while I say I'm going to stop now because you're pissed and this conversation isn't getting better. You seem to think I'm a terrible person and I can't change that." He said " I don't think you're terrible at all. I think you can get really annoying because you don't listen or read. You just want to get your point across." Ummm... Does anyone else see how this statement is contradictory? I'm not a terrible person in his eyes but I'm entitled, self-righteous... etc? Lol God help me, if that's not a terrible person what is in this guys book?? I did ask and he failed to comment. The devil must look like an angel in his books too! Lol.
Shortly thereafter, I asked the other guys to read the article and give me their honest feedback. Now these guys know me much better. They get my vision for this blog so they don't mind the questions and they give me hardcore truth and reality.. politely and maturely... Because we're adults. Mature adults. I quickly came to realize that this guy and his opinions were all on his own. The other guys didn't make the same comments. The only thing they said they weren't wild about was seeing me exact any kind of revenge on the other guy, Paul. They all thought I should let it go. As for Greg, they along with myself, think my articles may have hit a sensitive nerve so the guy lashed out at me. Meh. If the other guys were on board with his thinking this would cause me to sit back and reflect because that is not the person I am and that is not who I would like to be perceived as so what I had to figure out was if his assessment of me was accurate or not. Having talked to the other guys I believe that his assessment was inaccurate. I hit a nerve with Greg which is unfortunate because he's actually quite intelligent but obviously not a big fan of mine lol. Ah well, what can you do? Like I said I'm not made for everybody. I'm a tough cookie. I'm hard to handle and I know it. The good part is as hard as I might be to handle I'll always have a friend's back. I'm trustworthy, I'm honest, I'm loyal, I have a good heart and I'm one of few hard ass women that's willing to give you guys a bird's eye view into a woman's mind. Tough as shit as we are, we still have a soft spot in some places here and there. Even a strong woman is not perfect or invincible. I let you guys see my vulnerability because I want you to understand that as much as I am a strong woman, even when I get knocked down, I have to get back up. Sometimes it takes a little longer but I will get back up and continue on my little journey. But don't mistake my vulnerability for weakness or insecurity. Because this is the side you don't see. You don't get to see our hurt, our pain, our anger because we are resilient and we wear fabulous designer masks! Lol
So what happened with Paul? A month has passed since that last conversation where he asked me to be his girlfriend then disappeared. It took me 3 weeks before I could write that last article because I was SO pissed off. Most people think it's because I really liked the guy. More than I should have. But that wasn't it. If you guys really read the article it was because of the utter lack of respect. The common denominator in all my articles. If he had just said something I would've been fine. Maybe a little disappointed but definitely not anywhere near Crazy Mode.
I'm talking to my Ex/Friend ( yes, a man and woman that were involved but are now friends! Shocking right??! lol). We've been Ex's for over 10 yrs, let's call him Xavier lol. We're talking about this last post and I am just venting! I'm mad at men, I'm mad at the world ARRRRGGHH! Lol Poor guy but he's a good guy for listening to me :) . Anyway right in the middle of us talking my other line beeps! I'm thinking WTF? It's 1am.. who's calling me now? I look at the phone and isn't it... Paul??! W. T. F. That was a shocker! I tell Xavier who it is and he gets all excited! He wants me to answer it. As much as I want to, I refuse. Xavier says "See how you women say you're not into games but you're playing games now." I explained myself. Guys, at 1 am you have no business calling me. If you want to speak to me you can call me at a respectable time especially when you know you're in the wrong. Secondly, I was in a pissed off state so how do you guys think that conversation would go down?? Not very well right? Xavier understood where I was coming from right then and there.Talking to a woman while she's at the height of being pissed is dangerous to your health lol. If he was serious he could call me tomorrow.
The message light started flashing. Xavier got excited again he wanted me to check it and call him right back.. you guys love drama more than women sometimes lmao ;) . While trying to retrieve the message Paul calls back so I can't answer the message! Sally ( that's my phone's name) starts asking me "Are you still there??" And I'm like "Hell ya i'm still here!" lol I have to wait until it stops ringing. When I pick up the message it's club noise. Just the one message though even though he called twice...
I eventually can't contain myself anymore and send the following message later on. " Are you serious? You're pocket dialing me from a club? At least your phone has the balls to attempt to say something... Twice." Almost immediately I get the following text messages " I'm sorry" "I'm with Shane West from Nikita and Jackie from Bold and the Beautiful." Lol Like I give a fuck??! " How are you?" "I'm at cinema" .. Are you guys ready? Here comes my favorite part... "I was in Greece for a month and forgot my phone here." "You don't want to talk to me anymore?" OMG. Can I tell you when I read these messages most of my anger dissolved because I realized two things. 1. He really was just an asshole in sheep's clothing and 2. He realized that whatever girl he was currently dating he wasn't to wild about so he's trying to hop back onto my train. If he was happy with the other girl I would've never heard from him again... so now he's starting to doubt his choice! How so? Because he took the time to think up a lie and lying requires much more energy than the truth and you'd only do it if you were trying to get back what you lost because you believe or are worried they won't accept the truth.I swear I just gave birth to a child because I feel 10 pounds lighter! Who needs Jenny Craig??! Faaaabu!
Now guys, I have already said, I'm a fair woman because I am. My reply was " If you're really sorry call me one of these days and we'll meet up somewhere to talk. I'm not making any promises but I can at least say I'll hear you out." I believe in trying to give some people the benefit of the doubt... not to mention at this point I want to hear if the lying will continue or will he grow a pair of balls.. like his iPhone did ;) lol .. Btw, in hindsight, I believe he called and not his pocket. Why? He was to quick to reply after my first message. When you pocket dial from a club most times it's hours later plus a hangover when you realize people are messaging you that you pocket dialed them at whatever time in the morning lol.
The next morning I message him to say " So were those real or drunk texts last night?" He says " Let me call you when I get over this crazy hang over. Shane West is a crazy mother fucker!!!" I tell him I'll be available after 10 pm. Listen guys at that point I had work then plans afterward. I'm not stopping or interrupting my plans for this guy so if he's serious he can call me after 10pm. 10 pm came and went no call. I called and left the following message. " With a last name like yours, one that signifies courage and bravery it's unfortunate that you don't have any. You have the last name but you don't embody it and that's unfortunate and shameful. That your iPhone has more balls than you do is quite telling. I'm disappointed not only in you but in myself for believing in you. Our last date (mystery dinner theatre) when I was the only one at the whole table to figure out who the murderer was, should have been an indication that I have a few more brain cells than the average woman you're used to dating. And then you come with an excuse like, I was in Greece and forgot my phone here?? In the age of communication you couldn't find a WiFi, a laptop, an email address or at the very least email through the dating site we met on? Come on, it's been over a month, even you can't be that dense. It's sad and pathetic and I don't need it or you. Have a nice life and don't call me again." When he pocket dialed me again conveniently at 1am again ( his phone has an interesting habit of ignoring me for a whole month and then all of a sudden I get pocket dialed only at 1 am! Go figure! :-s lol) I sent a message the next day saying " Hi Paul... please delete my number. The pocket dialing is unnecessary. Thanks." That's the end of that.
To finish off this Tale of Wonder and Horror lol, I want to share a quote with you and summarize. " If you can recognize illusion as illusion, it dissolves. The recognition of illusion is also it's ending. It's survival depends on your mistaking it for reality. In the seeing of who you are not, the reality of who you are emerges by itself." Eckhart Tolle, A New Earth. I promised one of the guys I'd read it.. still reading lol. This is a very powerful quote because it was so true. Let's face it, I got duped. Probably because I wanted to believe. I want to believe in you guys. I've always supported and defended men. Here I am still trying to offer help, advice, insight.. a laugh lol.. whatever it is that you get from this blog. In my line of work I see the men I describe and they're married but because of them, I know these types of men exist, they're just rare. I see the joy that these women have because of the man in their lives. The point is I saw an illusion for 3 weeks. Later I recognized the illusion. And when I did, it ended and his real self emerged. I saw what he was and I refused to be fooled any longer. I took control of the situation and let him know he lost. Does he give a crap? I don't care. I am absolved. This was about him being an ass and not me being unworthy. I care that I saved myself and I know what I am. I am a kick ass woman.
As usual, I appreciate any feedback, opinions, thoughts... as long as they're expressed maturely :-) Have a Happy Halloween! And once again, Allo and Guten Tag to my German friends, Zdravstvuj to my Russian friends, Hallo to my friends in the Netherlands and Hello to my UK friends!! :D Add me on Facebook at Bf Whisperer.. :)
Back to my usual blogging...
Wednesday, 24 October 2012
BFW Personal Mini Blog Trilogy: Here Comes The Crazy Train Part 2
In order to understand this post please read:
Being a Gentleman a.k.a. The Mysterious Oompa Loompa
BFW Personal Mini Blog Trilogy: Possible Oompa Loompa Part 1.
I've had a few people inquiring about my possible Oompa Loompa sighting. They want to know what happened. In order to explain what happened I need to start with what I call The Women's 5 Shades of Crazy. Basically, as a woman, speaking honestly.. I believe every woman is at least one shade of crazy lol. Here's the Craz-o-meter:
Shade1. To Cute Crazy : This is the woman that rarely gets angry but when she does you can't help but laugh or think "Awww she's sooo cute!" and the more you laugh the angrier she gets and either looks or sounds more and more like a cartoon character lol. This shade is harmless unless provoked to Shade 2 or higher.
Shade 2. Provoked Crazy: This woman is usually fairly normal, sane, rational until... you do something to provoke her crazy side. Usually, it entails lying, cheating, stealing, betrayal etc. When you've committed one or more of these acts you send her into a rage. A rage where she goes from normal to Tasmanian Devil the minute she finds out about whatever crime you committed against her lol. God help you...
Shade 3. 50/50 Crazy: This chic is like a walking oxymoron! One minute she says she wants you to call her next thing she's telling you " You're always calling me!" Or that she's independent, she can pay her own way but can you pay half her rent? :-s Or that she likes when you're affectionate but says " You're smothering me!" Lol this woman can't make up her mind! 50% of the time she wants something and then the other 50% she spends accusing you of over compensating. You constantly feel pulled in different directions and you're never sure what she wants! It's maddening! lol.
Shade 4. Sneek-Up-On-You Crazy: Most of you have had at least ONE girlfriend like this. For months this woman was perfect! You have nothing to complain about. Everyone compliments you and tells you how lucky you are to have her. Then one day, she snaps and it's like you're talking to a whole other person! Maybe you said you didn't want to meet her parents, maybe the buddy she hates crashed on your couch and wiped his dirty mouth in her guest towels or maybe you chose the superbowl over listening to her day or possibly you didn't appreciate something she went out of her way to do for you... whatever you did she broke and became Psycho Reborn! You no longer recognize her and you want your perfect girlfriend back because this one's scary! The crazy just snuck up on you and hit you in the face like a bitch slap! POW!
Shade 5. Psycho:This chic is full on mental. After the first couple of dates she's got you looking at rings and talking about baby names! She's the one that automatically assumes you're cheating on her because you didn't answer your phone.. while you were at work.. in a meeting.. with co-workers.. and leaves 20 crazy messages about how she's gonna mail you your balls. Crazy. Full fledged. 100%. These girls need a skull and crossed bones tattooed across their foreheads :DANGER! Hazardous to your health!
That brings us back to me. Why did we need to go through the 5 Shades of crazy? Because I'm a number 2 on the scale... which means I have to be provoked into my crazy. So you ask " BFW, What pray tell would provoke you into craziness? You're such a sweet and innocent woman??!" I know right??! ;-) lol Well here's what happened...
In my previous article about him we called Paul. Paul and I dated for 3 weeks and gentlemen I honestly can't complain about those 3 weeks. He did everything I outlined in my Dating Do's . He opened doors, arrived on time, listened to me, chose great restaurants, paid the bill, walked me to my door etc.. I mean he really treated me like a princess! If he said he'd call or text, without fail, he did it! It gave me a sense of calm and security, it made me feel special because I appreciate all the little things like that. I don't need expensive jewelry or designer bags. I am a woman though so if you give them to me I won't say No lol .. but that's not what I'm there for. I'm there for the connection the companionship, the fun, the laughter, the romance and let's face it, some good fucking sex! So "What went wrong, you ask?" You guys tell me because I'd love to hear your opinion and thoughts on this.
For 3 weeks, as I said, everything was good. In our last conversation he called me on his way home from work and he told me about a great guy and his wife that he met on site. He said that they had invited him and his girlfriend to come over for dinner. We were talking like usual... the kind you do after work to catch up on each others day so it was a nice light vibe. I jokingly said to him " Don't forget to tell your girlfriend she got invited to dinner! lol" He laughed and said "I am telling her!" I said " Is that really how you think of me?" And he said " Yea but I didn't want to offend you." I said " why would that be offensive? That's more of a compliment!" After that we continued talking like normal until he had gotten home and was heading to bed.That was the last I heard of him. I sent a couple messages the next day, no reply. I called, no answer. I left a couple of voice mails, nothing... here comes the crazy. I'm gonna break this down for you guys so you really understand what we go through.
Step 1. Panic and worry. We start to wonder if you're ok. Did you have a family emergency? Did you get into an accident? Are you passed out in a hospital somewhere??? Worry and Panic start to set in. It's unfathomable to us that you would just drop off the face of the earth and stop talking to us for no reason. We're mature adults so at the very least the guy will say something if he's ditching you right?WRONG.
Step 2. Blame. Again we don't always stop and think first " Maybe this guy's an asshole".. Instead we think " Was it something I said? Did I do something wrong??" We internalize and inflict doubt on ourselves thinking and rethinking about every little thing that happened the last time we spoke or saw each other as well as over the time span we were dating trying to figure out what in God's name is wrong with us! Because of course it has to be us and not him right??!
Step 3. Reality. Things start clicking and falling into place sometimes crashing. You start remembering little things that set off yellow flags but not so alarming as to set off the red flags in our minds.
Step 4. Realization and Coming to terms. At this point you start realizing he's not sick, hurt or dead. He's an ass that has ditched you and that leads you to....
Step 5. Rage. You're ready to tear this guy's life apart! Whatever he loves you want to rip it from him, destroy it and leave him holding the pieces...You want to inflict on him the hurt he inflicted on you.. And enjoy every second of it which leads you to..
Step 6. Crazy Mode. The wheels start turning and she starts devising plans, strategies or just a basic list of anything she can think of to cause you utter humiliation/embarrassment/ pain/loss ... anything that will rip that smug little smile off the face you want to beat the crap out of lol... are you starting to hear the crazy talking?? lol
I worried about the guy! At first I thought "What if he's sick, comatose or dead?!" but then I realized his phone is still getting charged each day. I wonder, what if it was because of me?? Was it something I said or did? Automatically I start blaming myself. Why else would a guy just leave me like that unless something was wrong with me? After a while I start thinking back to the little things. His online profile had private images instead of readily available images. We always went out in my area, although in all fairness when I asked about this he said it was closer to go somewhere around my area than his since he would pick me up from my place. Fair enough since he lived about a half hour drive from my place but it did raise a yellow flag. Also there were a couple times he said he was talking to me from home but was he? How do I know? They were very brief conversations as it was usually before bed time. He called often from work but that I can tell was true based on his career choice. Reality sets in.The guy that gave me everything I wanted in a man, dumped me. Without a word. Without a call. Like I was nothing but trash. That hurt and I realize what an asshole this guy is! I was worried about him! I had started to blame myself for a man that was a coward! He didn't even have the decency to say he didn't want to see me anymore! Pathetic fucking piece of shit jerk. I. Am. Pissed! I am going to make this guys life, a hell hole.
Using methods I chose not to disclose ( C'mon, I can't give away all our secrets ;-) lol) I found out where he lives and when I'm not as insanely busy with work, I'm going to have a little stake out and see what's happening. I am a very patient woman. I will leave this guy alone for months feeling like he got off Scott free! Easy peasy! He tricked another bitch and he's laughing his ass off thinking he's the shit... until I bring his world crashing down. I will Fuck. Up. His.Shit. Believe me when I say that will be part 3 of this story. Muwhahahahahaha! LOL! All Abroad! Here comes the crazy train!! lol
The ironic thing is... all he had to say was " I'm sorry I just don't think we're on the same page" or " I'm sorry, I have a wife and a kid and I didn't expect to connect to anyone." or SOMETHING!! For cripes sake guys! I just went out on date with a guy last Saturday and had to tell him " I think you're a nice guy, I enjoyed meeting you but I don't find you sexually attractive." He was fat.. It's just not my thing. If it works for you, rock it! I'm a firm believer but it didn't work for me. Just like my slimness or petite size doesn't work for others! It is what it is... the truth. And that's ok. It's better than pulling a disappearing act on the person. If he had said something I would've just walked away. Like I've said before, I don't chase men that don't want me. Simple as that. I do fuck up men that don't respect me though.
Here's how this feels: Think of something you dream of.. Let's say a Lamborghini or a Porche or something. One day someone walks up to you and gives you the keys to a brand spanking new car and tells you it's yours! Holy shit you've hit the jackpot! At first you don't dare to believe it's yours. The guys coming back for it any minute but you'll enjoy the ride while you can! Then those couple of days turn into a week and you're thinking "Is this really mine? Nahhh no way!" Another week goes by and now you're kinda getting used to the feeling of the car.. every time you walk out the front door and see it, it puts a smile on your face! Another week passes and now you're entirely enjoying the car. The guy that gave you the keys is totally gone from your mind! This baby is yours!! Then one day you get up, leave the house but the driveway is empty! WTF??! The car is gone. Not a scrap left to even say it was there! Was it real? You know you left it riiiight there ... How do you feel right now? Fuckin shitty right? Ya. That's what it feels like. Like you lost something great. Until you realize the guy was a fucking asshole for telling you it was yours then taking it back without even saying a word to you! Don't you just want to beat the crap out of this guy?? That feeling right there is what drives women into crazy mode... pun intended lol.
Now, I know what you're thinking. You're thinking I left out the part where he fucked me and took off right? Nope. We never had sex. We fooled around a bit within the 3 weeks but still spoke after that but no sex at all... So now what do you guys have to say?? Talk to me! I want to hear some thoughts, opinions, be honest but mature about what you have to say. I can take honesty but I can't stand disrespect... and for those of you that say " Ok BFW but is it really worth it to mess with the guy like that? Why not just leave it alone and move on? Will it really make you feel better?" Fair questions and to that I say YES!!! It will make me feel better.. It IS worth it. I won't leave it alone because I'm so sick and tired of men always doing this women. I'm tired of their cowardly ways. I'm tired of them bragging to the boys about how they just dropped a girl and they're moving on to the next one to do the same thing. I'm so tired of the lack of respect men in general have for women. It's frustrating and angering and I want to teach this bastard a lesson... Men rape, beat, kill, stab, abuse, abort women, wives, mothers, sisters, girlfriends, babies... What have we ever done to you guys to be treated so poorly? How often do women rape, beat, kill, stab, abuse or abort men? Think about it. I'm just tired of it plain and simple. This asshole is about to lose his shit.
Stay tuned for Part 3... I promise the crazy wears off after a while lol. Like a perfume ;-)
Thanks for continuing to come back and make my blog more popular! Please feel free to post to pass my link on to friends or post on Facebook! :) I appreciate your continued interest and as always I'm open to thoughts, comments and suggestions :-) Until my next blog... Have a good one! :-)
Being a Gentleman a.k.a. The Mysterious Oompa Loompa
BFW Personal Mini Blog Trilogy: Possible Oompa Loompa Part 1.
I've had a few people inquiring about my possible Oompa Loompa sighting. They want to know what happened. In order to explain what happened I need to start with what I call The Women's 5 Shades of Crazy. Basically, as a woman, speaking honestly.. I believe every woman is at least one shade of crazy lol. Here's the Craz-o-meter:
Shade1. To Cute Crazy : This is the woman that rarely gets angry but when she does you can't help but laugh or think "Awww she's sooo cute!" and the more you laugh the angrier she gets and either looks or sounds more and more like a cartoon character lol. This shade is harmless unless provoked to Shade 2 or higher.
Shade 2. Provoked Crazy: This woman is usually fairly normal, sane, rational until... you do something to provoke her crazy side. Usually, it entails lying, cheating, stealing, betrayal etc. When you've committed one or more of these acts you send her into a rage. A rage where she goes from normal to Tasmanian Devil the minute she finds out about whatever crime you committed against her lol. God help you...
Shade 3. 50/50 Crazy: This chic is like a walking oxymoron! One minute she says she wants you to call her next thing she's telling you " You're always calling me!" Or that she's independent, she can pay her own way but can you pay half her rent? :-s Or that she likes when you're affectionate but says " You're smothering me!" Lol this woman can't make up her mind! 50% of the time she wants something and then the other 50% she spends accusing you of over compensating. You constantly feel pulled in different directions and you're never sure what she wants! It's maddening! lol.
Shade 4. Sneek-Up-On-You Crazy: Most of you have had at least ONE girlfriend like this. For months this woman was perfect! You have nothing to complain about. Everyone compliments you and tells you how lucky you are to have her. Then one day, she snaps and it's like you're talking to a whole other person! Maybe you said you didn't want to meet her parents, maybe the buddy she hates crashed on your couch and wiped his dirty mouth in her guest towels or maybe you chose the superbowl over listening to her day or possibly you didn't appreciate something she went out of her way to do for you... whatever you did she broke and became Psycho Reborn! You no longer recognize her and you want your perfect girlfriend back because this one's scary! The crazy just snuck up on you and hit you in the face like a bitch slap! POW!
Shade 5. Psycho:This chic is full on mental. After the first couple of dates she's got you looking at rings and talking about baby names! She's the one that automatically assumes you're cheating on her because you didn't answer your phone.. while you were at work.. in a meeting.. with co-workers.. and leaves 20 crazy messages about how she's gonna mail you your balls. Crazy. Full fledged. 100%. These girls need a skull and crossed bones tattooed across their foreheads :DANGER! Hazardous to your health!
That brings us back to me. Why did we need to go through the 5 Shades of crazy? Because I'm a number 2 on the scale... which means I have to be provoked into my crazy. So you ask " BFW, What pray tell would provoke you into craziness? You're such a sweet and innocent woman??!" I know right??! ;-) lol Well here's what happened...
In my previous article about him we called Paul. Paul and I dated for 3 weeks and gentlemen I honestly can't complain about those 3 weeks. He did everything I outlined in my Dating Do's . He opened doors, arrived on time, listened to me, chose great restaurants, paid the bill, walked me to my door etc.. I mean he really treated me like a princess! If he said he'd call or text, without fail, he did it! It gave me a sense of calm and security, it made me feel special because I appreciate all the little things like that. I don't need expensive jewelry or designer bags. I am a woman though so if you give them to me I won't say No lol .. but that's not what I'm there for. I'm there for the connection the companionship, the fun, the laughter, the romance and let's face it, some good fucking sex! So "What went wrong, you ask?" You guys tell me because I'd love to hear your opinion and thoughts on this.
For 3 weeks, as I said, everything was good. In our last conversation he called me on his way home from work and he told me about a great guy and his wife that he met on site. He said that they had invited him and his girlfriend to come over for dinner. We were talking like usual... the kind you do after work to catch up on each others day so it was a nice light vibe. I jokingly said to him " Don't forget to tell your girlfriend she got invited to dinner! lol" He laughed and said "I am telling her!" I said " Is that really how you think of me?" And he said " Yea but I didn't want to offend you." I said " why would that be offensive? That's more of a compliment!" After that we continued talking like normal until he had gotten home and was heading to bed.That was the last I heard of him. I sent a couple messages the next day, no reply. I called, no answer. I left a couple of voice mails, nothing... here comes the crazy. I'm gonna break this down for you guys so you really understand what we go through.
Step 1. Panic and worry. We start to wonder if you're ok. Did you have a family emergency? Did you get into an accident? Are you passed out in a hospital somewhere??? Worry and Panic start to set in. It's unfathomable to us that you would just drop off the face of the earth and stop talking to us for no reason. We're mature adults so at the very least the guy will say something if he's ditching you right?WRONG.
Step 2. Blame. Again we don't always stop and think first " Maybe this guy's an asshole".. Instead we think " Was it something I said? Did I do something wrong??" We internalize and inflict doubt on ourselves thinking and rethinking about every little thing that happened the last time we spoke or saw each other as well as over the time span we were dating trying to figure out what in God's name is wrong with us! Because of course it has to be us and not him right??!
Step 3. Reality. Things start clicking and falling into place sometimes crashing. You start remembering little things that set off yellow flags but not so alarming as to set off the red flags in our minds.
Step 4. Realization and Coming to terms. At this point you start realizing he's not sick, hurt or dead. He's an ass that has ditched you and that leads you to....
Step 5. Rage. You're ready to tear this guy's life apart! Whatever he loves you want to rip it from him, destroy it and leave him holding the pieces...You want to inflict on him the hurt he inflicted on you.. And enjoy every second of it which leads you to..
Step 6. Crazy Mode. The wheels start turning and she starts devising plans, strategies or just a basic list of anything she can think of to cause you utter humiliation/embarrassment/ pain/loss ... anything that will rip that smug little smile off the face you want to beat the crap out of lol... are you starting to hear the crazy talking?? lol
I worried about the guy! At first I thought "What if he's sick, comatose or dead?!" but then I realized his phone is still getting charged each day. I wonder, what if it was because of me?? Was it something I said or did? Automatically I start blaming myself. Why else would a guy just leave me like that unless something was wrong with me? After a while I start thinking back to the little things. His online profile had private images instead of readily available images. We always went out in my area, although in all fairness when I asked about this he said it was closer to go somewhere around my area than his since he would pick me up from my place. Fair enough since he lived about a half hour drive from my place but it did raise a yellow flag. Also there were a couple times he said he was talking to me from home but was he? How do I know? They were very brief conversations as it was usually before bed time. He called often from work but that I can tell was true based on his career choice. Reality sets in.The guy that gave me everything I wanted in a man, dumped me. Without a word. Without a call. Like I was nothing but trash. That hurt and I realize what an asshole this guy is! I was worried about him! I had started to blame myself for a man that was a coward! He didn't even have the decency to say he didn't want to see me anymore! Pathetic fucking piece of shit jerk. I. Am. Pissed! I am going to make this guys life, a hell hole.
Using methods I chose not to disclose ( C'mon, I can't give away all our secrets ;-) lol) I found out where he lives and when I'm not as insanely busy with work, I'm going to have a little stake out and see what's happening. I am a very patient woman. I will leave this guy alone for months feeling like he got off Scott free! Easy peasy! He tricked another bitch and he's laughing his ass off thinking he's the shit... until I bring his world crashing down. I will Fuck. Up. His.Shit. Believe me when I say that will be part 3 of this story. Muwhahahahahaha! LOL! All Abroad! Here comes the crazy train!! lol
The ironic thing is... all he had to say was " I'm sorry I just don't think we're on the same page" or " I'm sorry, I have a wife and a kid and I didn't expect to connect to anyone." or SOMETHING!! For cripes sake guys! I just went out on date with a guy last Saturday and had to tell him " I think you're a nice guy, I enjoyed meeting you but I don't find you sexually attractive." He was fat.. It's just not my thing. If it works for you, rock it! I'm a firm believer but it didn't work for me. Just like my slimness or petite size doesn't work for others! It is what it is... the truth. And that's ok. It's better than pulling a disappearing act on the person. If he had said something I would've just walked away. Like I've said before, I don't chase men that don't want me. Simple as that. I do fuck up men that don't respect me though.
Here's how this feels: Think of something you dream of.. Let's say a Lamborghini or a Porche or something. One day someone walks up to you and gives you the keys to a brand spanking new car and tells you it's yours! Holy shit you've hit the jackpot! At first you don't dare to believe it's yours. The guys coming back for it any minute but you'll enjoy the ride while you can! Then those couple of days turn into a week and you're thinking "Is this really mine? Nahhh no way!" Another week goes by and now you're kinda getting used to the feeling of the car.. every time you walk out the front door and see it, it puts a smile on your face! Another week passes and now you're entirely enjoying the car. The guy that gave you the keys is totally gone from your mind! This baby is yours!! Then one day you get up, leave the house but the driveway is empty! WTF??! The car is gone. Not a scrap left to even say it was there! Was it real? You know you left it riiiight there ... How do you feel right now? Fuckin shitty right? Ya. That's what it feels like. Like you lost something great. Until you realize the guy was a fucking asshole for telling you it was yours then taking it back without even saying a word to you! Don't you just want to beat the crap out of this guy?? That feeling right there is what drives women into crazy mode... pun intended lol.
Now, I know what you're thinking. You're thinking I left out the part where he fucked me and took off right? Nope. We never had sex. We fooled around a bit within the 3 weeks but still spoke after that but no sex at all... So now what do you guys have to say?? Talk to me! I want to hear some thoughts, opinions, be honest but mature about what you have to say. I can take honesty but I can't stand disrespect... and for those of you that say " Ok BFW but is it really worth it to mess with the guy like that? Why not just leave it alone and move on? Will it really make you feel better?" Fair questions and to that I say YES!!! It will make me feel better.. It IS worth it. I won't leave it alone because I'm so sick and tired of men always doing this women. I'm tired of their cowardly ways. I'm tired of them bragging to the boys about how they just dropped a girl and they're moving on to the next one to do the same thing. I'm so tired of the lack of respect men in general have for women. It's frustrating and angering and I want to teach this bastard a lesson... Men rape, beat, kill, stab, abuse, abort women, wives, mothers, sisters, girlfriends, babies... What have we ever done to you guys to be treated so poorly? How often do women rape, beat, kill, stab, abuse or abort men? Think about it. I'm just tired of it plain and simple. This asshole is about to lose his shit.
Stay tuned for Part 3... I promise the crazy wears off after a while lol. Like a perfume ;-)
Thanks for continuing to come back and make my blog more popular! Please feel free to post to pass my link on to friends or post on Facebook! :) I appreciate your continued interest and as always I'm open to thoughts, comments and suggestions :-) Until my next blog... Have a good one! :-)
Tuesday, 2 October 2012
One Night Stands of Immortality
Guys I apologize! I'm going into my busy season at work and waking up early and going to bed late so I wasn't able to write! Anyway here it is!
This blog isn't for men looking to add a few more notches to his belt. That's not what this is about. It's about spending a Night or a few hours with a person and not only immortalizing yourself but also not being a complete dick about the hook up.
Do you know who I am? I'll give you a hint. Think of your top 3 sexual experiences. You see those girls in your mind? The way they're forever immortalized for whatever reason you deemed fit? Maybe they had on the sexiest lingerie you ever saw. Maybe it was because you experienced something with that woman that you've never been able to replicate. Or maybe she just sucks your cock better, dirtier and sluttier than anyone you've ever been with. Whatever the reason, they have found a way to immortalize themselves sexually in your spank bank ( For those of you that are not sure what that is, it's the part of your memory you keep all you favorite sexual references for "spanking the monkey" a.k.a. masturbating. a "bank" for "spanking" hence the spank bank ;) ) . That's who I am. I'm the woman that will figure out your sexual needs in minutes, adjust and tailor my techniques so that when that night is over we may never see each other again but I have secured myself a spot as some of the best sex you ever had in your life. I don't mess around. I am self competitive. When I'm done with you, I want you to be exhausted, satiated and in some kind of euphoric state.I've said it before, here at BFWhisperer headquarters, I aim to please and I am damn good at it... the problem is men don't.
Guys just because it's a one night nsa (no strings attached) doesn't mean you shouldn't bring your A game to the table. I hear this from to many women and I've experienced it first hand. It's a Wham Bam and not even a Thank you Ma'am. You guys seem to confuse emotion and connection with maturity. We are grown ass mature adults! Why can't you have a good, passionate night of sex and go your separate ways in the morning?? When you guys have the woman just take care of you and hardly do anything for her that doesn't make it emotionless sex. That just makes you a selfish asshole. Plain and simple. So you guys are saying.. "But if there's any passion, connection or emotion involved the woman's gonna want more from me. She'll get 'clingy'." Not true. If you explain to a woman right off the bat that that's what you're looking for AND confirm she's looking for the same thing, not a fwb, not a companion or a boyfriend... your chances of a getting involved with a clingy woman are slim to none. Most of you just get to excited at the prospect of sticking your dick into a willing woman that you don't bother to really get those facts straight ;) and there in lies part of the problem.
I have the perfect story for this:
There are times when I'm just looking to get laid. I'm not interested in relationships etc at these times primarily because I'm going into my busy season at work and I don't have time. Anyway every now and then I'll post on Craigslist and see what comes of it. Most of the replies are ridiculous but after sifting through I might meet one or 2 guys. I met this guy, let's call him Gary, and he was cute! 10 years younger than I was at the time but I was just looking to get laid so what did I care?? lol. Gary was 24, in fantastic shape, pleasant to talk, easy going and chill. We get to the sex part and he asks me if I have any condoms. Ummm guys? WTF do I have a cock somewhere that I missed?? Please supply your own condoms. Women should not have to keep a supply of condoms in their homes for you! Do you have a set of birth control pills, female condoms or any female contraceptives in your home?? Exactly! You don't, so take care of your body and I'll take care of mine ;-) .. As it so happened I did but I let him know right away that that was a first and last time that was going to happen. So we're having sex... It's ok... nothing special but he's a kid so I try not to expect to much. I rock his world and he has a fantastic orgasm. He rolls over and is huffing and puffing to catch his breath and I'm waiting for him to catch his breath. Usually after the fact the guy will start taking care of me and my orgasm. Except of course, he didn't.When he looks like he's not getting ready to move into action I prop myself up on one hand and just stare at him until he says something. He says something along the lines of " Usually I'm really good at giving orgasm but I'm so tired right now. It's been a long day and I think your I'm allergic to your cat." Whaaaaat??! Is this A hole kidding me? So he's allergic to my cat when it's time for me to get mine but when he was fucking me and getting his orgasm he was fine????? I just smiled and said I understood. Politely gave him his clothes to get dressed and showed him out. I'm not stupid guys. I am not yelling at a strange man in my apartment. It's just me and him and I'm not looking to get shot, stabbed or killed over an orgasm lol. The next day he messaged me to tell me what a great time he had with me. I told him, well at least one of us had a good time! He said, "You didn't enjoy it?" What's to enjoy?? I didn't my orgasm! I told him as much and he asked if we could do it again and he promised he would give me a great orgasm. Ummm ya, because I have Stupid written on my forehead lol. I told him, Fool me once shame on you, fool me twice shame on me... there will be no shame on my part thanks. I took a pass. Erase, delete. Good bye.
This is a classic one night stand. Most guys get in, fuck you and get out. You ruin it for everyone! lol... How? Enough experiences like this and you guys make women like me want to take a pass on the sex because it's just not worth it. What's in it for me? I can't even get an orgasm out of it! Boo! God! If the sex was good I'd be banging guys whenever I felt the urge to get laid! Now I can't be bothered because the idea of bucking up with another one of these kinda guys is just so unappealing I'd rather take care of it myself! On the plus side I always I ensure I have an orgasm and I never have to look sexy for myself lol!
What is it about pleasing a woman that you guys just don't get it? How about this.. Let's say you and I are having sex. Everything is getting hot and heavy, you're all turned on, rock hard cock, and I have an orgasm. Then I roll over and relax but you still have a rock hard cock. I get up put my clothes on and leave. WTF... What a bitch right??! Ya, that's how we feel every time you guys don't give us an orgasm! Just because you can't see our cocks doesn't mean we don't need to get off too. Even if it's just one night, why not be immortalized as the best or one of the best one night stands she ever had??
Best one night stand I ever had? Eeeeasy...
I met someone at a bar. There was a definite physical connection right away. I was also quite drunk lol. At the time I was much younger and still learning to handle my liquor. When I got to their place we talked for a bit but I started to feel sick. So sick in fact that I ran to the bathroom and threw up everything! I was so embarassed and mortified! I mean who would want to have sex with a woman after that? Ewww lol. When I finally opened the bathroom door.. there was advil, tea, crackers and a spare toothbrush waiting for me :-o! And not a hint of judgement on their face. Talk about prepared. I was nursed right back to sobriety, brushed my teeth and we had some crazy great sex. We fell asleep and when I woke up there were eggs, bacon, toast, coffee and a plate waiting for me :-o ! We did the breakfast thing, talked like mature adults then I got dressed and as I was getting ready to leave they called me a cab and paid for the cab ride home. Unbelievable. To this day no other one night stand has ever surpassed this.
Why was that experience forever immortalized by me? Well, it was the fact that I was treated like a human being and not a used and discarded tissue paper. We were mature adults that had a one night stand but we treated each other in a friendly manner. Just because you have a one nighter with someone doesn't mean you should be devoid of treating them like a person. We didn't exchange numbers, we saw each other at the same bar once or twice and we were always polite with each other saying hi, having a drink then going our separate ways. No one got clingy. No one got stalked, stabbed or stupid lol.Why is that so hard for you guys to do?? Lol .. C'mon guys! We'd all be getting laid more often if we treated each other like that while having one night stands. There's nothing wrong with having a one night stand.. we all have our reasons. Heart break, work, nympho's lol... whatever your reason it's no reason not to treat the woman with a little respect, maturity and humanity.
I hope I've shed a little light, opened a few eyes and given you perspective... If not I'm always open to questions, comments and feedback :)
I think my next post will be for the married men/ boyfriends.. Why are you guys not getting laid as much as you used to? Simple answer. Because you're lacking in the romance department and wives/gf's think you think they're not worth it anymore.... I'll explain more in the article :)
This blog isn't for men looking to add a few more notches to his belt. That's not what this is about. It's about spending a Night or a few hours with a person and not only immortalizing yourself but also not being a complete dick about the hook up.
Do you know who I am? I'll give you a hint. Think of your top 3 sexual experiences. You see those girls in your mind? The way they're forever immortalized for whatever reason you deemed fit? Maybe they had on the sexiest lingerie you ever saw. Maybe it was because you experienced something with that woman that you've never been able to replicate. Or maybe she just sucks your cock better, dirtier and sluttier than anyone you've ever been with. Whatever the reason, they have found a way to immortalize themselves sexually in your spank bank ( For those of you that are not sure what that is, it's the part of your memory you keep all you favorite sexual references for "spanking the monkey" a.k.a. masturbating. a "bank" for "spanking" hence the spank bank ;) ) . That's who I am. I'm the woman that will figure out your sexual needs in minutes, adjust and tailor my techniques so that when that night is over we may never see each other again but I have secured myself a spot as some of the best sex you ever had in your life. I don't mess around. I am self competitive. When I'm done with you, I want you to be exhausted, satiated and in some kind of euphoric state.I've said it before, here at BFWhisperer headquarters, I aim to please and I am damn good at it... the problem is men don't.
Guys just because it's a one night nsa (no strings attached) doesn't mean you shouldn't bring your A game to the table. I hear this from to many women and I've experienced it first hand. It's a Wham Bam and not even a Thank you Ma'am. You guys seem to confuse emotion and connection with maturity. We are grown ass mature adults! Why can't you have a good, passionate night of sex and go your separate ways in the morning?? When you guys have the woman just take care of you and hardly do anything for her that doesn't make it emotionless sex. That just makes you a selfish asshole. Plain and simple. So you guys are saying.. "But if there's any passion, connection or emotion involved the woman's gonna want more from me. She'll get 'clingy'." Not true. If you explain to a woman right off the bat that that's what you're looking for AND confirm she's looking for the same thing, not a fwb, not a companion or a boyfriend... your chances of a getting involved with a clingy woman are slim to none. Most of you just get to excited at the prospect of sticking your dick into a willing woman that you don't bother to really get those facts straight ;) and there in lies part of the problem.
I have the perfect story for this:
There are times when I'm just looking to get laid. I'm not interested in relationships etc at these times primarily because I'm going into my busy season at work and I don't have time. Anyway every now and then I'll post on Craigslist and see what comes of it. Most of the replies are ridiculous but after sifting through I might meet one or 2 guys. I met this guy, let's call him Gary, and he was cute! 10 years younger than I was at the time but I was just looking to get laid so what did I care?? lol. Gary was 24, in fantastic shape, pleasant to talk, easy going and chill. We get to the sex part and he asks me if I have any condoms. Ummm guys? WTF do I have a cock somewhere that I missed?? Please supply your own condoms. Women should not have to keep a supply of condoms in their homes for you! Do you have a set of birth control pills, female condoms or any female contraceptives in your home?? Exactly! You don't, so take care of your body and I'll take care of mine ;-) .. As it so happened I did but I let him know right away that that was a first and last time that was going to happen. So we're having sex... It's ok... nothing special but he's a kid so I try not to expect to much. I rock his world and he has a fantastic orgasm. He rolls over and is huffing and puffing to catch his breath and I'm waiting for him to catch his breath. Usually after the fact the guy will start taking care of me and my orgasm. Except of course, he didn't.When he looks like he's not getting ready to move into action I prop myself up on one hand and just stare at him until he says something. He says something along the lines of " Usually I'm really good at giving orgasm but I'm so tired right now. It's been a long day and I think your I'm allergic to your cat." Whaaaaat??! Is this A hole kidding me? So he's allergic to my cat when it's time for me to get mine but when he was fucking me and getting his orgasm he was fine????? I just smiled and said I understood. Politely gave him his clothes to get dressed and showed him out. I'm not stupid guys. I am not yelling at a strange man in my apartment. It's just me and him and I'm not looking to get shot, stabbed or killed over an orgasm lol. The next day he messaged me to tell me what a great time he had with me. I told him, well at least one of us had a good time! He said, "You didn't enjoy it?" What's to enjoy?? I didn't my orgasm! I told him as much and he asked if we could do it again and he promised he would give me a great orgasm. Ummm ya, because I have Stupid written on my forehead lol. I told him, Fool me once shame on you, fool me twice shame on me... there will be no shame on my part thanks. I took a pass. Erase, delete. Good bye.
This is a classic one night stand. Most guys get in, fuck you and get out. You ruin it for everyone! lol... How? Enough experiences like this and you guys make women like me want to take a pass on the sex because it's just not worth it. What's in it for me? I can't even get an orgasm out of it! Boo! God! If the sex was good I'd be banging guys whenever I felt the urge to get laid! Now I can't be bothered because the idea of bucking up with another one of these kinda guys is just so unappealing I'd rather take care of it myself! On the plus side I always I ensure I have an orgasm and I never have to look sexy for myself lol!
What is it about pleasing a woman that you guys just don't get it? How about this.. Let's say you and I are having sex. Everything is getting hot and heavy, you're all turned on, rock hard cock, and I have an orgasm. Then I roll over and relax but you still have a rock hard cock. I get up put my clothes on and leave. WTF... What a bitch right??! Ya, that's how we feel every time you guys don't give us an orgasm! Just because you can't see our cocks doesn't mean we don't need to get off too. Even if it's just one night, why not be immortalized as the best or one of the best one night stands she ever had??
Best one night stand I ever had? Eeeeasy...
I met someone at a bar. There was a definite physical connection right away. I was also quite drunk lol. At the time I was much younger and still learning to handle my liquor. When I got to their place we talked for a bit but I started to feel sick. So sick in fact that I ran to the bathroom and threw up everything! I was so embarassed and mortified! I mean who would want to have sex with a woman after that? Ewww lol. When I finally opened the bathroom door.. there was advil, tea, crackers and a spare toothbrush waiting for me :-o! And not a hint of judgement on their face. Talk about prepared. I was nursed right back to sobriety, brushed my teeth and we had some crazy great sex. We fell asleep and when I woke up there were eggs, bacon, toast, coffee and a plate waiting for me :-o ! We did the breakfast thing, talked like mature adults then I got dressed and as I was getting ready to leave they called me a cab and paid for the cab ride home. Unbelievable. To this day no other one night stand has ever surpassed this.
Why was that experience forever immortalized by me? Well, it was the fact that I was treated like a human being and not a used and discarded tissue paper. We were mature adults that had a one night stand but we treated each other in a friendly manner. Just because you have a one nighter with someone doesn't mean you should be devoid of treating them like a person. We didn't exchange numbers, we saw each other at the same bar once or twice and we were always polite with each other saying hi, having a drink then going our separate ways. No one got clingy. No one got stalked, stabbed or stupid lol.Why is that so hard for you guys to do?? Lol .. C'mon guys! We'd all be getting laid more often if we treated each other like that while having one night stands. There's nothing wrong with having a one night stand.. we all have our reasons. Heart break, work, nympho's lol... whatever your reason it's no reason not to treat the woman with a little respect, maturity and humanity.
I hope I've shed a little light, opened a few eyes and given you perspective... If not I'm always open to questions, comments and feedback :)
I think my next post will be for the married men/ boyfriends.. Why are you guys not getting laid as much as you used to? Simple answer. Because you're lacking in the romance department and wives/gf's think you think they're not worth it anymore.... I'll explain more in the article :)
Monday, 10 September 2012
BFW Personal Mini Blog Trilogy: Possible Oompa Loompa Sighting! Part 1
Coincidentally after writing the Gentleman's blog a.k.a. the Oompa Loompa, there is a possibility I may have found one! I feel like I found Big Foot! Is this real or is the National Enquirer about to drop photos and scandalous articles with "EXPOSED!" stamped all over it? lol
What shall I name this Possible Oompa Loompa (POL) ? Hmm Let's call him Paul. Get it? POL?Paul.. lmao.. It's so cheesy I crack myself up! ;) I met Paul on a dating site. He's intelligent, funny, witty, a good listener, tall, attractive, in shape, 39, has his own home, a car and a good career, he's a good Greek man. Opa! lol OMG. That's a lot of checks on my check list :).. moving along swiftly... He messaged me, I returned his message we got along great through email, moved to phone conversations where we really clicked and connected. We laughed, we talked, got to know each other. Guys, one thing I noticed right off the bat was when this guy said something, his word was bond. If he said he would text me later, he did. If he said he would call, he did. Every single time without fail. Impressive. That gave me a tremendous sense of security because I didn't have to wonder if he was interested in me, if he was brushing me off, if he lost interest in me...This is called Crazy Prevention guys!!! By being consistent and following through. a sane woman will feel more secure and more at ease therefore settling any potential crazy vibes... Impressive.
We decided to meet tonight to go for dinner and so far, even though I haven't met him, I like this guy so I get dressed to the nines. I even got one of my gay BFF's stamps of approval ;-) (They KNOW more about sexy than most women do and they give the best blow job advice!.. Seriously) Thank God for them! Stone wash Asymmetrical thin form fitting leather jacket, black thin strap top, black shiny spandexy looking tights and satin black high heels. Hair and makeup, done and done! If only I had a camera for the look on his face when I came downstairs lol Priceless. It's rare to watch a guys eyes pop out of their heads but at the same token quite... humbling. I mean, I know I looked good lol. I'm a confident woman but when a woman sees it on a guys face that she wants to impress it makes a sane woman feel really special but not in that "I-think-I'm all -that- and-a bag-of-chips!" kinda way lol. He literally walked right up to me and kissed me on the lips! A nice quick one but enough to catch me off gaurd in a great way. He then walked me to his car, opened the door and helped me into it. Impressed yet again. Wow. I'm expecting Candid Camera to pop up any moment and say " Smile! You're on Candid Caaaamera!" lol Is this for real?? I sure hope so...
We were originally on our way to a restaurant that I had selected when we were about to drive past one he's been to and he asks if I've ever been and I say no. He tells me how great the food is etc so I say, "Do you want to go there? I don't mind.." and he says "Ok, you're gonna love it! It's high end and a real classy place." I have to admit he was right. He walks around the car to open my door, he holds my hand briefly leading up to the restaurant, he opens all the doors, he knows the staff through work related business, he lets me follow the host, he waits for me to be seated.. Holy crap! I mean if I didn't know better I'd SWEAR he read my blog! lol. The place is beautiful. Looks like an old renovated mansion but with old school decor. Stained glass portions in wood, huge chandeliers, beautiful china. Gorgeous.Throughout dinner we talk and every now and then a server that knows him comes to talk to him and they exchange pleasantries and I watch the interaction. He never talks down to anyone, he's never dismissive towards any of them, he says please, thank you and excuse me. He asks about business, their families etc. Most women might mind this but I don't. I recognize that this is part of his career in terms of maintaining relationships and sometimes business and pleasure mix. It happens in my own industry all the time so I'm quite patient. I also don't mind because it allows me to watch how he treats people. When he asks about wives and kids he is genuine. It's not just small talk to him. Again I'm impressed. I swear a 3rd eye is going to pop out any minute now!... How about NOW?! An extra arm maybe? No?.. or could this be the real deal??
We talk, get to know each other more and he's open, honest, curious about me and listens well. Every now then he touches my leg or arm and a couple times just leans over and kisses me gently ( we're sitting side by side) . He's definitely making it known he's into me. Anyway, we continue with our lavish meals, drinks and dessert. I order a Spanish coffee and I get the show of my life! The server comes with a whole cart containing fresh whipped cream, a couple of shots of Tia Maria for the coffee, a plate of sugar and this burner. It looks like a huge Bunsen Burner. He wets the glass, dips it sugar and lights the thing on fire by turning it over the fire! The fire fills the cup and is a cobalt blue and he keeps turning it. He then lights the shot of Tia Maria in a small metal dish and proceeds to get it really heated up before he pours it into the glass. As he's pouring it looks like pure blue flaming liquid going into the blue flaming glass! Unbelievably amazing to watch! I wish I could remember what it was called! I was in shock lol.. I thought I was just getting a liitle coffee with alcohol and whip cream but instead I got this incredible show! First date to remember for both of us! After our fantastic meal he takes me home. He gives me a much longer good night kiss. The kind that tells you the sex is going to be crazy hot with him... one day. Not tonight because this guy's a gentleman. We've already established with each other the fact that we're both very interested in each other and obviously very sexually attracted but it's better to wait. He actually said " I'm really glad you didn't invite me back to your place because if anything had happened so early I probably would've lost interest. I like the chase." Lol.. Is this guy for real?? Is this a Big Foot sighting?? I thanked him for an amazing night. The dinner, the atmosphere and most of his company. He walked me to my lobby and watched me get into the elevator. Honestly guys, he nailed ALL of my First Date DO's, never hit a single DON'T and so far he embodies what a gentleman is. If he set out to impress me, then consider the BFW officially floored and recuperating :-o !!! Lol ( Don't worry guys it won't interrupt the One Night Stand Blog ;).. It's almost ready to be published.lol)
Stay tuned faithful BFW followers.. I'll keep you posted on POL who knows, maybe on the next date we'll go to the beach and he'll casually walk on water for me! At this point you never know lol ..
What shall I name this Possible Oompa Loompa (POL) ? Hmm Let's call him Paul. Get it? POL?Paul.. lmao.. It's so cheesy I crack myself up! ;) I met Paul on a dating site. He's intelligent, funny, witty, a good listener, tall, attractive, in shape, 39, has his own home, a car and a good career, he's a good Greek man. Opa! lol OMG. That's a lot of checks on my check list :).. moving along swiftly... He messaged me, I returned his message we got along great through email, moved to phone conversations where we really clicked and connected. We laughed, we talked, got to know each other. Guys, one thing I noticed right off the bat was when this guy said something, his word was bond. If he said he would text me later, he did. If he said he would call, he did. Every single time without fail. Impressive. That gave me a tremendous sense of security because I didn't have to wonder if he was interested in me, if he was brushing me off, if he lost interest in me...This is called Crazy Prevention guys!!! By being consistent and following through. a sane woman will feel more secure and more at ease therefore settling any potential crazy vibes... Impressive.
We decided to meet tonight to go for dinner and so far, even though I haven't met him, I like this guy so I get dressed to the nines. I even got one of my gay BFF's stamps of approval ;-) (They KNOW more about sexy than most women do and they give the best blow job advice!.. Seriously) Thank God for them! Stone wash Asymmetrical thin form fitting leather jacket, black thin strap top, black shiny spandexy looking tights and satin black high heels. Hair and makeup, done and done! If only I had a camera for the look on his face when I came downstairs lol Priceless. It's rare to watch a guys eyes pop out of their heads but at the same token quite... humbling. I mean, I know I looked good lol. I'm a confident woman but when a woman sees it on a guys face that she wants to impress it makes a sane woman feel really special but not in that "I-think-I'm all -that- and-a bag-of-chips!" kinda way lol. He literally walked right up to me and kissed me on the lips! A nice quick one but enough to catch me off gaurd in a great way. He then walked me to his car, opened the door and helped me into it. Impressed yet again. Wow. I'm expecting Candid Camera to pop up any moment and say " Smile! You're on Candid Caaaamera!" lol Is this for real?? I sure hope so...
We were originally on our way to a restaurant that I had selected when we were about to drive past one he's been to and he asks if I've ever been and I say no. He tells me how great the food is etc so I say, "Do you want to go there? I don't mind.." and he says "Ok, you're gonna love it! It's high end and a real classy place." I have to admit he was right. He walks around the car to open my door, he holds my hand briefly leading up to the restaurant, he opens all the doors, he knows the staff through work related business, he lets me follow the host, he waits for me to be seated.. Holy crap! I mean if I didn't know better I'd SWEAR he read my blog! lol. The place is beautiful. Looks like an old renovated mansion but with old school decor. Stained glass portions in wood, huge chandeliers, beautiful china. Gorgeous.Throughout dinner we talk and every now and then a server that knows him comes to talk to him and they exchange pleasantries and I watch the interaction. He never talks down to anyone, he's never dismissive towards any of them, he says please, thank you and excuse me. He asks about business, their families etc. Most women might mind this but I don't. I recognize that this is part of his career in terms of maintaining relationships and sometimes business and pleasure mix. It happens in my own industry all the time so I'm quite patient. I also don't mind because it allows me to watch how he treats people. When he asks about wives and kids he is genuine. It's not just small talk to him. Again I'm impressed. I swear a 3rd eye is going to pop out any minute now!... How about NOW?! An extra arm maybe? No?.. or could this be the real deal??
We talk, get to know each other more and he's open, honest, curious about me and listens well. Every now then he touches my leg or arm and a couple times just leans over and kisses me gently ( we're sitting side by side) . He's definitely making it known he's into me. Anyway, we continue with our lavish meals, drinks and dessert. I order a Spanish coffee and I get the show of my life! The server comes with a whole cart containing fresh whipped cream, a couple of shots of Tia Maria for the coffee, a plate of sugar and this burner. It looks like a huge Bunsen Burner. He wets the glass, dips it sugar and lights the thing on fire by turning it over the fire! The fire fills the cup and is a cobalt blue and he keeps turning it. He then lights the shot of Tia Maria in a small metal dish and proceeds to get it really heated up before he pours it into the glass. As he's pouring it looks like pure blue flaming liquid going into the blue flaming glass! Unbelievably amazing to watch! I wish I could remember what it was called! I was in shock lol.. I thought I was just getting a liitle coffee with alcohol and whip cream but instead I got this incredible show! First date to remember for both of us! After our fantastic meal he takes me home. He gives me a much longer good night kiss. The kind that tells you the sex is going to be crazy hot with him... one day. Not tonight because this guy's a gentleman. We've already established with each other the fact that we're both very interested in each other and obviously very sexually attracted but it's better to wait. He actually said " I'm really glad you didn't invite me back to your place because if anything had happened so early I probably would've lost interest. I like the chase." Lol.. Is this guy for real?? Is this a Big Foot sighting?? I thanked him for an amazing night. The dinner, the atmosphere and most of his company. He walked me to my lobby and watched me get into the elevator. Honestly guys, he nailed ALL of my First Date DO's, never hit a single DON'T and so far he embodies what a gentleman is. If he set out to impress me, then consider the BFW officially floored and recuperating :-o !!! Lol ( Don't worry guys it won't interrupt the One Night Stand Blog ;).. It's almost ready to be published.lol)
Stay tuned faithful BFW followers.. I'll keep you posted on POL who knows, maybe on the next date we'll go to the beach and he'll casually walk on water for me! At this point you never know lol ..
Tuesday, 4 September 2012
Being a Gentlemen a.k.a. The Mysterious Oompa Loompa's
Here's the deal guys... Gentlemen are becoming extinct! I've had a few women read my blogs and when they finish laughing one of the first things they ask me to talk to you guys about is being a gentleman. The Gentleman seems to be a rare and dying or hidden breed of man! They're like Oompa Loompa's! We can't figure out where the heck they're hiding! And trust me we have checked under a lot of rocks and have waded through some pretty crappy ponds but no luck! Oly Oly Oxen Free guys! lol The thing is the men are completely unaware of the standards they're measured up to and what kind of expectations the woman might have, not just from you but any man. So in order to find this out I started with...What is the definition of a Gentleman from a woman's perspective? In knowing this, you might come to understand what most respectable women measure men by. First I started looking for the literal sense of the word but in today's day it was so outdated it was ridiculous! Something about noble birth and superior social position blah blah, ummm ya right so for the modern day version I turned to Urban Dictionary and chose the answer I thought best reflected what a woman's perspective would be:
Being a Gentleman isn't just about how you treat women but everyone! For example:
I was on the transit the other day and a blind man got on the bus and asked if anyone could give him a seat.. Not one man got up however three women including myself attempted to offer their seat! Obviously he took the one closest to him but do you know what he said that really opened my eyes guys?? He said, "It's always the women." :-o !!! Shame! He then proceeded to hit on her in a somewhat funny yet creepy way but that's besides the point lol.
Guys!! Seriously?! What's going on? It's one thing to grumble about picking up a cheque but you guys don't even give the blind man a seat?? We need to work this out!
Here's a great example of a real Gentleman :
The other day I asked a friend if she wanted to get some dinner...Let's call her Jessica. She told me to hold on a sec, came back and invited me to go out with her and a friend visiting from Florida. He's a work colleague and he flies in for business here and there so when he comes into town they hang out... Let's call him John. I ask her if the restaurant takes debit and she says yes. Great! John picks us up and we head down to the restaurant John has selected. We had a great time! We talked, we laughed, we ate, we drank. Now my friend, she's single, intelligent, successful, younger than I am but nonetheless single like me so she has experienced similar dating woes. John is also successful, intelligent and married. We talk about his wife and he really loves her! After many years of marriage he still loves this woman deeply. He would give her the world on a platter if he could. I'm impressed. When the server comes he always let's us order first or let's us ask a million and one questions without even a blink of the eye. He is a patient man. One that has learned to deal with women through patience ... a lot of patience lol. Again I'm impressed. Throughout the conversation and dinner though I become aware of a guy sitting at a table next to us and naturally start to compare. John I believe is in his 40's or 50's, clean business professional haircut, great shape hasn't let himself go one bit. Casual dress shirt, no wrinkles. The guy beside him whom I think was on a date, DEFINITELY single, 30ish, had on a wrinkled shirt with a stain or two, lacked table manners and had a pot belly that needed it's own table. Folks if you wanna be plus size do your thing but wear it well! I say the same to the skinny minis! Just because you're slim doesn't mean I need to see your belly all the time! John is freaking married and STILL takes the time to keep himself looking good. Most guys after 30 don't (sad but true). Anyway I digress... I was basically marveling at the fact that the married man that has a wife still puts in the effort to keep himself looking good while the single guy clearly stopped caring long ago. After dinner and dessert the bill came and I pulled out my debit card to pay for my meal. Before I could, John was handling the bill. Bowled over impressed! Oh. My. God. It's a freaking Oompa Loompa!!! Live and in person!! They exist! Now.. where do I go to order my own? Single version please! Is there a special form? Secret password? Do I need to pop a pill?! Oh, tell me great Obi-Wan Kenobi! lol
You're probably thinking I'm more impressed by the fact that he took care of dinner right? I'd be lying if I didn't admit that ya, that was awesome... but it wasn't just that. It was that he truly embodied what a Gentleman was all about. He was polite, courteous, fun, entertaining, charming, treated us with respect, held open doors, allowed us to walk in front of him towards the table, picked us up and dropped us off AND he paid the bill.. and expected nothing in return. The married guy treated us with more class, respect, patience and manners than any single guy has in a long time! The guy should teach Ooompa Loompa 101 lol. His wife is lucky and I hope she realizes it :) .
Are you ready?? Here comes another tale from the BF Whisperers Tales of Dating Doom:
Sooo, I met this guy online. French, 40, slim, average looking, intelligent, Accountant. I should've known when I heard he was an Accountant lol *shaking my head* ...No offense guys!! He picks me up in a massive van and at first I'm thinking... "Um, do I really want to get in there??" He leans over to open the door (would've been better if he got out of the car to open the door ;) ) and when I open it, I peek in to verify there are no crazy axe murdering rapists in the back and when it's all clear I hop in. I instantly notice that the van has a faint B.O. (body odour) smell and I think "Oh God it's Eau de Pepe Le Pew! Ewww" (Hygenie gentlemen! Lol) But he's French so I'm trying to look past it! (oh stop! you know you were thinking it, I'm just bold enough to say it!) We decide to get Sushi. I love Sushi! Yay! We look at the menu and he starts asking if I tried this or that and I say yes and no accordingly. I'm in the mood for soft shell crab so that's what I order. He orders at least 5 dishes and encourages me to try a bit of each one. Now guys, I'm a small eater. I still eat kid's meals at fast food restaurants when I go and I mean Canadian size kids meals which are much smaller than American kid's meals so basically I take a bite or 2 of each dish but nothing more because I really can't handle it! Throughout the date we get to talking and I find out that he's not 40.. .but 52... 5 years younger than my mom at the time! Really? Really. Sorry guys, I like some freaky stuff sometimes but a guy old enough to be my daddy?... that's just to much freak for my little show! I stick around though because I'm polite, I'm a lady... and I was curious to see how much worse Pepe Le Pew was gonna get lol.
I didn't have to wait for long because when the cheque came he grabbed it, calculated it and told me EXACTLY how much my half of the bill was to the penny, oh yes I paid for half of the 5 dishes he ordered and the icing on the cake was when he said "I'll be a gentleman and pay the tip." And I looked at this man and realized he honestly thought he was doing me a favor! Lmao! Well you guys know me by now, I paid my half but I decided he at least owed me a ride home. And now folks, we come to my favorite part of the evening! He pulls up to the driveway of my building and starts to head toward the Visitor's parking lot. I ask him "Um, where are you going?" He looks at me with the most confused expression and said "I thought I was coming up to your place." Whaaaaat????! Guys?? I laughed so hard tears started streaming down my face! I mean.. Are you kidding me?? Pepe Le Pew with his cheap, lying, manipulative, stinky little self thought he was making his way back to my place? To get laid?? I mean what planet did this ape grow on?? I had to point toward the front of the building because I was still having trouble speaking through my laughter! I opened the door, got out, looked at his confused little face and thanked him for the ride home and nothing else. There was nothing else to thank him for! His number was deleted before I got to the elevator.
There was absolutely nothing gentlemanly about this guy! Guys take notes! When you go out on dates with women being a Gentleman shouldn't be an outfit you put on. As in it shouldn't be just to impress her. It should be about you, it should be who you are! Being a Gentleman is about having manners, being polite, treating dates, girlfriends, wives, wait staff, colleagues, people in general with respect and common courtesy! When was the last time you offered a pregnant woman your seat? When was the last time you helped a mother carry her stroller down the stairs? Offered to carry an old ladies groceries for her? Helped your mother, father, family member for no other reason than because they asked for your help? Treated a woman to dinner without the expectation that she owes you something for that meal?? Just for a few minutes I'd like you to honestly consider it.. :) And guys, if you're daddies, you really need to start stepping up to the plate and teaching your sons these things. Teach him not only how to be a man but to how to be a Gentleman because somewhere there is a disconnect and men today can't compare to the old school men of the past. The generation born in 70's on...Yup, this blog is mostly for you.
I believe we hold you guys to this standard because our father's and uncles are old school. This is what we expect because this is what we saw, this how we were taught a man should treat us. And if it's not them, I won't lie it's the RomCom's lol. Guys... if only you understood what a goldmine that is towards understanding what women want and what they expect. It's not a multimillion dollar industry for no reason! Open your eyes! We'll cover Romance in a future blog ;)
Gentlemen's Dating Cheat Sheet
1. Follow my First Date Do's and Don'ts Blog
2. Open doors, pull out chairs
3. Be polite
4. Be aware of your manners
5. Let her walk in front of you through doors or on the way to a table and let her choose what seat she wants to sit in. Whether she wants to sit in or out
6. Take initiative - choose a place or something to do keeping in mind things she likes! Don't leave everything up to her. If you're unsure ask her opinion but don't make it entirely her choice
7. Pay the bill
8. Make sure she gets home safely
9. Actions speak louder than words so only say you'll do something if you plan on doing it
10. Seriously read the do's and don'ts.. :)
In general guys, being a Gentleman shouldn't be a temporary thing, not just something you do for a few hours a night sometimes! It should be who you are all the time. At home, at work, with friends, family or dates. Often some of you start as Gentlemen and once the woman falls for you it stops! Why?? Now that she's with you she doesn't deserve to still be treated like a lady?? Lol come on guys! It sends a bad message! You're not ALL assholes! I have faith in you guys... well at least some of you! lol. You too can be some woman's Oompa Loompa lol! Why wouldn't you want to be a better man today than you were yesterday? :)
Oh and I almost forgot.. Allo and Guten Tag to my German friends, Zdravstvuj to my Russian friends, Hallo to my friends in the Netherlands and Welcome my new friends in the UK!! :D
Until next time folks :) .... I think my next blog will be about one night stands.. We definitely need to talk about that! lol ;)
"Something very rare today. A man who is respectful and considerate of
those around him. Acts politely. Treats women with respect. Open doors
for them, pulls out chairs, and is classy. What more guys should be."
Being a Gentleman isn't just about how you treat women but everyone! For example:
I was on the transit the other day and a blind man got on the bus and asked if anyone could give him a seat.. Not one man got up however three women including myself attempted to offer their seat! Obviously he took the one closest to him but do you know what he said that really opened my eyes guys?? He said, "It's always the women." :-o !!! Shame! He then proceeded to hit on her in a somewhat funny yet creepy way but that's besides the point lol.
Guys!! Seriously?! What's going on? It's one thing to grumble about picking up a cheque but you guys don't even give the blind man a seat?? We need to work this out!
Here's a great example of a real Gentleman :
The other day I asked a friend if she wanted to get some dinner...Let's call her Jessica. She told me to hold on a sec, came back and invited me to go out with her and a friend visiting from Florida. He's a work colleague and he flies in for business here and there so when he comes into town they hang out... Let's call him John. I ask her if the restaurant takes debit and she says yes. Great! John picks us up and we head down to the restaurant John has selected. We had a great time! We talked, we laughed, we ate, we drank. Now my friend, she's single, intelligent, successful, younger than I am but nonetheless single like me so she has experienced similar dating woes. John is also successful, intelligent and married. We talk about his wife and he really loves her! After many years of marriage he still loves this woman deeply. He would give her the world on a platter if he could. I'm impressed. When the server comes he always let's us order first or let's us ask a million and one questions without even a blink of the eye. He is a patient man. One that has learned to deal with women through patience ... a lot of patience lol. Again I'm impressed. Throughout the conversation and dinner though I become aware of a guy sitting at a table next to us and naturally start to compare. John I believe is in his 40's or 50's, clean business professional haircut, great shape hasn't let himself go one bit. Casual dress shirt, no wrinkles. The guy beside him whom I think was on a date, DEFINITELY single, 30ish, had on a wrinkled shirt with a stain or two, lacked table manners and had a pot belly that needed it's own table. Folks if you wanna be plus size do your thing but wear it well! I say the same to the skinny minis! Just because you're slim doesn't mean I need to see your belly all the time! John is freaking married and STILL takes the time to keep himself looking good. Most guys after 30 don't (sad but true). Anyway I digress... I was basically marveling at the fact that the married man that has a wife still puts in the effort to keep himself looking good while the single guy clearly stopped caring long ago. After dinner and dessert the bill came and I pulled out my debit card to pay for my meal. Before I could, John was handling the bill. Bowled over impressed! Oh. My. God. It's a freaking Oompa Loompa!!! Live and in person!! They exist! Now.. where do I go to order my own? Single version please! Is there a special form? Secret password? Do I need to pop a pill?! Oh, tell me great Obi-Wan Kenobi! lol
You're probably thinking I'm more impressed by the fact that he took care of dinner right? I'd be lying if I didn't admit that ya, that was awesome... but it wasn't just that. It was that he truly embodied what a Gentleman was all about. He was polite, courteous, fun, entertaining, charming, treated us with respect, held open doors, allowed us to walk in front of him towards the table, picked us up and dropped us off AND he paid the bill.. and expected nothing in return. The married guy treated us with more class, respect, patience and manners than any single guy has in a long time! The guy should teach Ooompa Loompa 101 lol. His wife is lucky and I hope she realizes it :) .
Are you ready?? Here comes another tale from the BF Whisperers Tales of Dating Doom:
Sooo, I met this guy online. French, 40, slim, average looking, intelligent, Accountant. I should've known when I heard he was an Accountant lol *shaking my head* ...No offense guys!! He picks me up in a massive van and at first I'm thinking... "Um, do I really want to get in there??" He leans over to open the door (would've been better if he got out of the car to open the door ;) ) and when I open it, I peek in to verify there are no crazy axe murdering rapists in the back and when it's all clear I hop in. I instantly notice that the van has a faint B.O. (body odour) smell and I think "Oh God it's Eau de Pepe Le Pew! Ewww" (Hygenie gentlemen! Lol) But he's French so I'm trying to look past it! (oh stop! you know you were thinking it, I'm just bold enough to say it!) We decide to get Sushi. I love Sushi! Yay! We look at the menu and he starts asking if I tried this or that and I say yes and no accordingly. I'm in the mood for soft shell crab so that's what I order. He orders at least 5 dishes and encourages me to try a bit of each one. Now guys, I'm a small eater. I still eat kid's meals at fast food restaurants when I go and I mean Canadian size kids meals which are much smaller than American kid's meals so basically I take a bite or 2 of each dish but nothing more because I really can't handle it! Throughout the date we get to talking and I find out that he's not 40.. .but 52... 5 years younger than my mom at the time! Really? Really. Sorry guys, I like some freaky stuff sometimes but a guy old enough to be my daddy?... that's just to much freak for my little show! I stick around though because I'm polite, I'm a lady... and I was curious to see how much worse Pepe Le Pew was gonna get lol.
I didn't have to wait for long because when the cheque came he grabbed it, calculated it and told me EXACTLY how much my half of the bill was to the penny, oh yes I paid for half of the 5 dishes he ordered and the icing on the cake was when he said "I'll be a gentleman and pay the tip." And I looked at this man and realized he honestly thought he was doing me a favor! Lmao! Well you guys know me by now, I paid my half but I decided he at least owed me a ride home. And now folks, we come to my favorite part of the evening! He pulls up to the driveway of my building and starts to head toward the Visitor's parking lot. I ask him "Um, where are you going?" He looks at me with the most confused expression and said "I thought I was coming up to your place." Whaaaaat????! Guys?? I laughed so hard tears started streaming down my face! I mean.. Are you kidding me?? Pepe Le Pew with his cheap, lying, manipulative, stinky little self thought he was making his way back to my place? To get laid?? I mean what planet did this ape grow on?? I had to point toward the front of the building because I was still having trouble speaking through my laughter! I opened the door, got out, looked at his confused little face and thanked him for the ride home and nothing else. There was nothing else to thank him for! His number was deleted before I got to the elevator.
There was absolutely nothing gentlemanly about this guy! Guys take notes! When you go out on dates with women being a Gentleman shouldn't be an outfit you put on. As in it shouldn't be just to impress her. It should be about you, it should be who you are! Being a Gentleman is about having manners, being polite, treating dates, girlfriends, wives, wait staff, colleagues, people in general with respect and common courtesy! When was the last time you offered a pregnant woman your seat? When was the last time you helped a mother carry her stroller down the stairs? Offered to carry an old ladies groceries for her? Helped your mother, father, family member for no other reason than because they asked for your help? Treated a woman to dinner without the expectation that she owes you something for that meal?? Just for a few minutes I'd like you to honestly consider it.. :) And guys, if you're daddies, you really need to start stepping up to the plate and teaching your sons these things. Teach him not only how to be a man but to how to be a Gentleman because somewhere there is a disconnect and men today can't compare to the old school men of the past. The generation born in 70's on...Yup, this blog is mostly for you.
I believe we hold you guys to this standard because our father's and uncles are old school. This is what we expect because this is what we saw, this how we were taught a man should treat us. And if it's not them, I won't lie it's the RomCom's lol. Guys... if only you understood what a goldmine that is towards understanding what women want and what they expect. It's not a multimillion dollar industry for no reason! Open your eyes! We'll cover Romance in a future blog ;)
Gentlemen's Dating Cheat Sheet
1. Follow my First Date Do's and Don'ts Blog
2. Open doors, pull out chairs
3. Be polite
4. Be aware of your manners
5. Let her walk in front of you through doors or on the way to a table and let her choose what seat she wants to sit in. Whether she wants to sit in or out
6. Take initiative - choose a place or something to do keeping in mind things she likes! Don't leave everything up to her. If you're unsure ask her opinion but don't make it entirely her choice
7. Pay the bill
8. Make sure she gets home safely
9. Actions speak louder than words so only say you'll do something if you plan on doing it
10. Seriously read the do's and don'ts.. :)
In general guys, being a Gentleman shouldn't be a temporary thing, not just something you do for a few hours a night sometimes! It should be who you are all the time. At home, at work, with friends, family or dates. Often some of you start as Gentlemen and once the woman falls for you it stops! Why?? Now that she's with you she doesn't deserve to still be treated like a lady?? Lol come on guys! It sends a bad message! You're not ALL assholes! I have faith in you guys... well at least some of you! lol. You too can be some woman's Oompa Loompa lol! Why wouldn't you want to be a better man today than you were yesterday? :)
Oh and I almost forgot.. Allo and Guten Tag to my German friends, Zdravstvuj to my Russian friends, Hallo to my friends in the Netherlands and Welcome my new friends in the UK!! :D
Until next time folks :) .... I think my next blog will be about one night stands.. We definitely need to talk about that! lol ;)
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